Snowdown Chaos
by Creator0fWords
Summary: What happens at the Institute for War when Snowdown rolls around? Some champions leave, others stay. But one things for sure: There will be chaos among those who stayed. What will happen? Shots? Kisses? Fights? Assassin ice cream fights? SECRET TV SHOW MARATHONING! Maybe everything. Rated T for swearing.
1. Chapter 1: Chaos and Ionians

**Chapter 1: Chaos and Ionians**

"LUX! ARE YOU THERE? LUX? LUX!" Someone yelled, pounding on her door.

Lux groaned and rolled over, refusing to get up. Not that she had a choice.

"LUUUX!" Sejuani screeched and bowled her door down. The blonde mage sat up and blinked multiple times. "Wha… Sejuani?"

The Winters Wrath sighed in relief. "You're here! Good. Now get up and meet in the hall!"

Lux groaned and fell back down onto her bed. "5 more minutes…"

Sejuani sighed. "Garen's back."

She bolted upright. "What? WHERE?" Lux jumped out of bed and quickly donned her armour. Within 30 seconds, she stood facing Sejuani in her broken doorway. "Take me to him!" She demanded. The Winters Wrath laughed. "Your brothers not here. Now come."  
>Lux stared after Sejuani's retreating figure down the hall. <em>Tricked again.<em> She thought.

Lux exited her hallway to be greeted by nods from Leona, Kayle, Akali, Shen, and Ryze, each standing against the wall, expressions ranging from incredibly bored to incredibly pissed. There was nobody else coming in from the other 2 dorm halls.

"What's going on?" Lux asked Leona, who was standing nearest to her. She shrugged. "I don't know. All I know is that Sejuani charged down my door, screaming like a lunatic. I told her to calm down, but then she just left. And charged down your door."

Sejuani entered the small little circular room with four branching halls. "Alright. I've checked the West Wing and the East Wing. Someone else pull their weight around here." She said. Kayle snorted. "If we knew what the fuck you're doing, maybe we would help!" The angel exclaimed indignantly. Sejuani stalked up to her. "Listen here, _angel_." She spat. "Everybody else has left for Snowdown, except you lot. I've been instructed to find out who stayed and who left. Now somebody," She said, turning to the rest of the champions. "Better check the Noxian Wing and see who stayed." The North Wing, or better known as the Noxian Wing, was where all the Noxians had their rooms. Everybody else was mixed up, but they had wanted to stay together.

Obviously, nobody volunteered to go.

"Alright then, pansies. How about you, dear Lux."

Lux gaped. "Me? But… But..."

"NO BUTS! GET YOUR BUTT DOWN THERE NOW!" Sejuani roared, and Lux scurried down the hallway. "Everybody else, go get some breakfast."

As the remaining 4 champions followed the Freljordian into the mess hall, Leona stopped. "Hey… Sejuani? Come look at this."

There was a message, taped to the wall, which everybody else had missed.

_To the champions currently reading this letter,_

_It is Snowdown Break, therefore, any champion is allowed out to visit family, friends, or adventure someplace, but you are also allowed to return as you wish. If you choose to leave, please return by the end of two weeks time. There are some basic ground rules to follow if you choose to stay:_

_Keep the Ionians out of the kitchen, especially the fridge_

_Do not enter the Fields of Justice_

_Do not enter the Summoners building_

_Keep the minions in the dungeons_

_DO NOT ENTER THE NORTH WING (Unless you room there)_

Leona looked up at Sejuani. "Lux..."

Lux wandered down the dimly lit hallway for a bit before she got slammed into by a force.

"Oomph!" She sprawled out on the floor.

"Oops! So sorry Lux! Didn't see you there!" A happy voice chirped. Lux looked up into Teemo's eyes and grimaced. "You're a lot tougher than you look… Haha…"

Teemo looked concerned and extended a small furry paw to her. "Here, Lady of Luminosity."

Lux accepted the hand and stood up, towering over the yordle. "What are you doing in the North Wing, Teemo?" She inquired. The Swift Scout looked up at her. "The Noxians may all room here, but so do the yordles. The Noxian rooms are the furthest down the hall. Are you looking for something?"

The mage sighed. "Yeah. I'm supposed to check to see if there are any more people still left here in the North Wing."

Teemo grinned. "I will accompany you then!"

They walked down the hallway until they reached the end, lit by a single torch. They turned around, peeping through the cracks and listening for people on the other side.

"I hope we don't run into Ka-" Teemo was interrupted when the door they were standing in front of slammed open and a pair of angry green eyes bore into theirs. "-tarina." He squeaked.

"RUN!" Lux yelled and they sprinted down the corridor, back into the safety of the circular room.

**Meanwhile, down the hallway... **

Katarina looked after the two curiously. She was just on her way to get breakfast…

Reaching for her daggers, she wondered what the light mage had been doing in her hallway… Then decided that she didn't care.

**The mess hall**

"So then I was like: no, I'm not your _sun,_ get it?" Leona laughed uncontrollably while Shen and Akali eyed the kitchen entrance. Akali forced a smile. "Hahahaha…"

"HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!" Lux screamed as she sprinted into the room. Everybody looked up. Sejuani ran behind Lux, having been in the hallway looking for her. She panted for breath and took a seat in the nearest chair. Lux looked behind her, panicked.

Ryze looked up from his scrolls and omelette. "Lux? What happened?"

The mage panted for breath. It had been a hard sprint, and the dorms weren't exactly close.

Teemo spoke up. "It appears that we are not the only ones here." He said, jerking his small head back in the direction he had come in. "Now if you'll excuse me, I will just grab a salad and be heading back home to Bandle City for Snowdown."

Everybody watched the yordle as he selected a leafy salad and scurried out of the room. Lux sat down next to Sejuani.

"So… Who else is here?" Sejuani asked. Lux opened her mouth to speak, but her gaze snatched on something… Or some_one_ over Sejuani's shoulder.

"What the fuck were you doing outside my room, Blondie?" The assassin snapped, hands on her hips. Everybody else turned to watch the encounter, and Akali took the opportunity to sneak into the kitchen.

"Well?" Katarina hissed. Lux gathered her courage and stood up to face the Sinister Blade. "Sejuani asked me to check who was left…" She stated coolly. Katarina turned her gaze to Sejuani, who in turn looked at Lux. "Don't push the blame onto me!" She hissed. Katarina snorted. "Don't care." She muttered, heading towards the buffet, which magically restocked food.

At that moment, Caitlyn rushed into the room, waving a piece of paper. "Hey guys! Guess wha-!" The over-excited sheriff tripped over a chair and tumbled into Katarina, who knocked over a pile of plates, which broke the glass door into the kitchen. Akali blinked at the door and quickly scuttled out of sight of the door… Which landed her next to the refrigerator.

"WATCH IT, BITCH!" Katarina spat angrily, launching a dagger at Caitlyn. Kayle flew into the way of the projectile, which buried itself in her right arm, shearing through her golden armour like nothing.

Katarina barked a short laugh at the angel, who had fallen on top of the sheriff, before taking an unbroken plate and loading it with food and strutting out. Leona blocked the next 5 daggers thrown their way with her shield.

The Radiant Dawn turned to Lux. "Seriously? The other person is _Katarina?_ Fuck. Help me get Kayle to Soraka, will you?"

Ryze looked up. "Hmm? Did I miss something?"

Caitlyn gasped. "Can somebody get her off me? Please?" She wheezed as the air was crushed out of her lungs from Kayle's heavy armour.

**The Infirmary **

"I will be with you shortly, please fill out this checklist while you are waiting." Leona read from the sign taped onto Soraka's door. She sighed. "Guess we have to wait."

Kayle looked up. "Nonsense! I will be fine- whoa, whoa!" She slurred, trying to stand up. Caitlyn grimaced as the Judicator fell back onto the bench.

Leona sighed again. "Stupid bitch. Did she _have_ to poison her daggers?!"

Lux picked up the checklist and a pen. "Might as well fill this out."

_1. Please state the cause of injury:_

_a) Summoners Rift_

_b) Tripping down the stairs_

_c) Walking into the Summoners building_

_d) Angry Noxian_

_e) Other __

Lux checked the 'angry Noxian' box off and looked at the next question on the list.

_2. Please state reason for cause of injury:_

_a) Personal curiosity_

_b)Accidental_

_c) Fight_

_d) If you checked off 'Angry Noxian' you do not have to do the rest of the checklist_

"Umm… I'm done, Leona." Lux said, handing the warrior the paper. The Radiant Dawn glanced over the paper and nodded.

Just then, the door opened. "I trust you've filled out the checklist?" Soraka asked, plucking the paper from the Radiant Dawn. She glanced it over and pursed her lips, shaking her head. "Angry Noxian, huh? Alright. Your friend will be alright in an hour."

Lux just stared. "An hour? That long for a cut on her arm?"

"Noxians poison their weapons. And this looks like the work of Katarina, so it may be 2 hours, actually…" Soraka mused. "Help her inside and lay her on a bed. As for this one," She said, turning to Caitlyn, "I assume you were caught in the crossfire?"

Caitlyn shook her head. "I was the target."

**Back in the mess hall**

"ATTENTION! I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE." Sejuani boomed. Shen looked up. "It's only me, Ryze an- wait… Where's Akali?" He stood up, looking around the room as if expecting the Fist of Shadow to suddenly leap out from behind the painting of a poro that hung on a wall.

Sejuani smacked her head. "Shit! Shen check the kitchen… No wait on second thought, don't go _near _the kitchens! Ryze, check the kitchen!"

Ryze looked up and shrugged. "Why?"

Sejuani seethed. "I was supposed to keep you Ionians away from the fridge!"

The Rogue Mage stood up and left the room. "Do it yourself."

A blond explorer walked in, looking around. "Daaaaamn! Where'd everybody go?"

Sejuani ignored him and stalked into the kitchen, Shen and Ezreal following. Ezreal gasped. "AKALI?! IS THAT MY DOUBLE CHOCOLATE FUDGE AND MINT CHIP ICE CREAM?!"

Akali looked up from her seat on the floor, her face smeared with ice cream and her spoons halfway to bringing another scoop into her mouth. She looked at the label on the ice cream container that said, 'Ezreal's double chocolate fudge and mint chip ice cream, DO NOT TOUCH.'

She gulped. "No…"

Ezreal turned red. "I can SEE IT!"

Akali stared as her charged at her. Panicking, she flung her spoons at him and yelled, "AS BALANCE DICTATES!" Before vanishing in a shroud of mist.

Sejuani roared. "I HATE BEING IN CHARGE! YOU IONIANS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN HERE! IF I SEE ANOTHER ONE OF YOU HERE, KATARINA WILL LOOK TAME NEXT TO WHAT I WILL DO!"

Ezreal, having managed to dodge the spoons, frowned. "Katarina…? Who else is here?"

Shen answered. "Leona, Caitlyn, Kayle, Akali, Ryze, Sejuani, Soraka, me, and Lux. As far as we know. Leona, Kayle, Caitlyn, and Lux are at the infirmary. Caitlyn tripped and knocked over Katarina, and Kayle took a dagger to the arm."

Ezreal frowned. "I'm surprised there wasn't more damage."  
>"Leona managed to block the other daggers…"<p>

"Oh."

Sejuani turned to Shen. "GET OUT!"


	2. Chapter 2: Shots and Books

**Chapter 2: Shots and Books **

_**Quick authors note: Thank you so much for taking the time to read my book! As you can tell, this chapter is a bit shorter but it's a bit of a launchpad to get all the characters together hahaha… I don't know when I'll update because school just started for me but I hope it will be soon! XOXO~ Creator0fWord**__**s**_

**Meanwhile, in the infirmary…**

"Soraka… What are you doing?" Lux asked as the Starchild prodded Kayle's arm with her horn. Caitlyn was lying immobilized in another room to be checked for possible damage after Kayle had squashed her, and Leona had zoned out on the only other chair in the room, leaving Lux to stand awkwardly by the door. She didn't want to leave, in case she bumped into the Noxian assassin.

"Medical examination." Soraka said stiffly. Leona snored loudly. Kayle was lying on a table in nothing but her shorts and t-shirt, sweat dampening her forehead. "She'll be ok, it's-"

"AS BALANCE DICTATES!" Someone yelled, accidentally finishing off Soraka's sentence. Lux and Soraka both spun to see the Fist of Shadow wielding her weapons, chocolate smeared over her face. Leona bolted upright yelling, "THE DAWN HAS ARRIVED!" and continued to swing her shield into the chair she had been on, mutilating the stuffing. She blinked as she woke up fully. "What? Where am I?"

Everybody stared at her. Akali broke the silence. "So… This isn't the library, right?"

The stares were now directed to her. She shifted uneasily. "I guess not. Right then…" She disappeared in a shroud of mist.

"Erm… That was weird." Leona muttered, sitting back onto the mutilated chair. She yawned. "So is Kayle gonna be alright?"

Soraka sniffed, dabbing at Kayle's arm with a cotton pad. "As I was saying before we were interrupted… She'll be ok, as well as the Sheriff of Piltover, although she may take a couple days. It's just a matter of rest. But to rest, there needs to be silence." She said, pointedly looking at the two to get out and let her work. They took the hint and walked out.

**While…**

Katarina watched as the Radiant Dawn strolled through the gardens with the Lady of Luminosity. The two seemed to be engaged with some sort of meaningless chatter. The Noxian watched as Lux said something to Leona and they both walked away, towards the building that they lived in. Curious, she jumped down from her tree and followed.

Katarina hid up in the ceiling rafters, watching the strange showcase below her. Sejuani was addressing those who remained, trying to rally them…

"I am the ruler of Freljord!" She bellowed. "JOIN WITH ME TO TAKE DOWN THE TYRANNICAL ASHE!"

Shen frowned. "Eh… Actually, Ashe united the-"

"NO! SHE. IS. A. TYRANT. I will hunt her down and take over FRELJORD!" Sejuani shouted, shaking the ceiling rafters. Annoyed, Katarina threw a barrage of daggers at the Winters Wrath, pinning her by the clothes to the wall and effectively shutting her up.

The assassin leaped down and landed lightly. Akali (Who still had not found the library), Shen, Ryze, Leona, and Ezreal looked up in shock, while Lux looked frightened.

"Aw, come one. You should be thanking me. After all, I did manage to shut her up," Katarina snapped.

"Thank you." They chorused. Sejuani glared at Katarina. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! GET ME OFF THIS WALL! I MUST RULE FRE-" She was cut off when Ryze cast a silencing spell on her. She continued to yell silently, and the other champions didn't need to be lip-readers to know what she was saying.

"Lets get out of here…" Ezreal suggested and everyone left Sejuani in the dining room.

**Later that night…**

"Kayle!" Lux exclaimed as the Judicator walked by her broken door. Kayle stopped and smiled at Lux. "Hey!"

"You're alright!" The mage hugged her friend.

Ezreal was walking by at that moment. He looked at the exchange curiously. "... Is everything alright?"

"Everythings fine!" Lux beamed. "Kayle's out of the infirmary!"

"Oh!" Ezreal exclaimed. "So… This would be the perfect time to say that we're having a party in the library, right?"

**The party…**

"SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!" The champions chanted as Leona downed shot after shot after shot.

"WOOO!" Shen cheered. Leona staggered drunkenly towards the bathroom, grinning like a maniac.

"LUX!" Akali laughed as the mage accidentally spilled a pint of Graggy Ice onto her. Akali had been telling Lux all the places she'd teleported to, trying to find the library again. After all, teleportation was not something that she was terribly good at. Lux had just asked her why she wanted to find the library when Akali had replied with, "It's where I hide my donuts."

"Sorry!" Lux exclaimed, hurriedly rushing to the bathroom to get some paper. She walked past a drunk Leona on her way into the bathroom. When she'd returned, everybody was crowded around Akali.

And staring at her evilly.

"What… What's going on?" Lux asked nervously. Leona answered, her words slurring. "You *hiccup* spilllt a *hiccup* driiink onn Akaa *hiccup* Akaa *hiccup* Aka-"

"Akali." Ezreal finished. "So therefore, she can ask you anything and you must reply truthfully. And I mean, _anything._" He laughed evilly while Ryze gave him the side-eye from where the Rogue Mage was perched above a bookshelf.  
>Akali watched Lux as she cleaned up the spilt drink. Everybody (except for Ryze, Caitlyn, and Sejuani, who was still daggered to the wall,) leaned towards the two women to hear the question.<p>

"What is your darkest secret?" Akali stated simply. Lux pondered for a moment before taking a seat on a futon. A dark look crossed her face.

"Well? What has the Lady of Luminosity to tell?" Kayle prompted. Lux bit her lip nervously. "Well… You mustn't tell anyone…" She started. Everybody nodded their heads, eager to hear more. "I… I… I once stayed up until midnight watching _The Tales of the Poro King…"_ Lux whispered and everybody groaned inwardly. _The Tales of the Poro King_ was a tv series… Meant for 8-year olds. The champions had expected something juicier, and then realized something.

"Kayle… She's completely innocent!" Akali whispered.

All at once, pandemonium broke out.

"SHE'S INNOCENT! PROTECT HER! KEEP HER AWAY FROM EZREAL!" Leona shrieked drunkenly. Immediately, the Prodigal Explorer grabbed a book off the nearest shelf and started trying to hit the drunken Solari. "I understand you're drunk!" He exclaimed, bashing _The Demacian Diaries_ onto her shield. "But that doesn't mean that we should protect her from _ME_ when there is clearly a DRUNKEN IDIOT staggering around in the same room!"

Shen, Akali, and Kayle started herding Lux away from the two fighting champions. "OOMPH!" Shen puffed as he was pushed into a bookshelf… The one Ryze was sitting on.

The mage was not happy. He cast a stun, rooting Shen in place as he stalked towards the ninja, an orb of crackling blue energy floating above his palm.

With two pairs fighting, Leona and Kayle ended up playing guards, moving Lux from place to place around the room to avoid the others.

No one noticed someone entering the room.

"Errr… Is this a bad time?" Someone asked from the doorway. Immediately, all motion ceased as seven pairs of eyes settled on the cloaked figure carrying a big weapon. The cloak was cast back to reveal long, white hair and frosty blue eyes.

"Ashe!" Lux exclaimed, running towards the Frost Archer. "Finally. Somebody _normal_." Akali muttered, casting a dark look at Leona.

Ashe cautiously hugged Lux back. "So… _Is_ this a bad time?" She asked again. Lux shook her head vigorously. "Not at all! I was just leaving…"

The second they stepped out the door, the fighting resumed, leaving a resigned Leona and Akali to follow Lux and Ashe.


	3. Chapter 3: Noxians and Donuts

**Chapter 3: Noxians and Donuts**

"So… What exactly happened back there?" Ashe asked Lux as they walked outside. The evening was cool, but not too much so, and the moon shone brightly, stars twinkling merrily in the background.

"Uh… I told them my darkest secret," Lux said, shooting a glare at Akali, who was behind her. "And then I don't know. All hell broke loose!" She exclaimed indignantly. Ashe raised an eyebrow. "That must have been some secret!" The Frost Archer exclaimed, jabbing Lux in the ribs. "Tell me?" She asked with a merry wink. Lux blushed a deep red. "No!"

"She stayed up until midnight watching _The Tales of the Poro King._" Kayle deadpanned. Lux stopped walking and glared furiously, betrayed, at the Judicator. "KAYLE! I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL ANYONE!" She screamed, jumping up and down like a child.

"Aw, come on, Lux." Kayle rolled her eyes. "It's not that much of a secret. It's more of an… Embarrassment…" She stated bluntly.

Ashe started giggling nervously. "Err… Embarrassment?" She said, giggles ceasing. "I uh… I've done the… Same…" She mumbled awkwardly. Three pairs of eyes bore into the Frost Archers face. She looked back defiantly. "I…! I was curious!" She defended. "I wanted to know who kidnapped Princess Snugglebums!"

"..."

"WHAT?!"

"..."

'_And here I thought she was normal…_' Akali thought.

**The mess hall… 10 minutes later**

"LET ME OFF THIS WALL! CAN ANY OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS HEAR ME? GET. ME. OFF!" Sejuani roared as Ashe, Lux, Akali, and Kayle approached the mess hall. Ashe froze. "Is that… Sejuani?" She exclaimed as they came into sight of the Winters Wrath.

Sejuani locked eyes on Ashe in the same instant. "ASHE?!" She shrieked, struggling even harder. Apparently, Katarina's knives were either thrown quite hard or had some sort of magical enchantment, as Sejuani was still hopelessly pinned. Ryze's spell had also worn off.

"What is going on?!" Ashe demanded, whirling to the other champions.

"Well… Sejuani was trying to eh… 'inspire us' to rally against you." Akali explained. "Then out of nowhere: BAM! Sejuani's pinned to the wall and Katarina of all people comes jumping off the ceiling like nothing happened, asking for thanks!"

Ashe looked shocked, then turned back to Sejuani. "Should we let her of-"

"NO!" They chorused in unison, much to Sejuani's anger. She cursed and struggled fruitlessly.

"Ok then…" Ashe finished and they turned to head back to their dorms. "Where is Katarina anyhow?"

Unbeknownst to them, the Noxian assassin was right above them, listening to every detail. She hadn't heard about Ashe and Lux's secret hobbies, as she'd started trailing them only 5 minutes ago.

"Don't know. Don't care. The further she is, the happier I am." Kayle shivered, the wound on her arm seeming to throb. "So… Akali, why did you come charging into the infirmary anyway?"

The Fist of Shadow gave the angel the side-eye. "Donuts."

She was met with blank stares. "What?"

"I was looking for the library. It's where I keep my secret stash of donuts."

Ashe looked shocked again. "Secret stash of donuts?"

Akali glared at her. "Are you judging me?"

"No… Alright, maybe. Sort of." The archer relented under the glare.

"Says the person who watched _Tales of the Poro King _until midnight!" Akali retorted. Ashe held her hands up in surrender. "Alright, fine! I won't judge you Ionians and your love of food, as long as you don't judge me!"

Meanwhile, Katarina was looking down at the Ionian with renewed interest. She was so focused on what she had said that Ashe's secret hadn't yet registered to her. '_Donuts?'_ She thought. '_I want them.'_

"Why do you hide donuts in the library…?" Kayle wondered. "Seems like a strange place."

"Precisely!" Akali exclaimed. "No one would ever look there!"

"Why would anyone want your secret stash of donuts, anyhow?" Kayle answered just as a shadow leaped down in front of them, effectively halting the champions and stopping conversation.

"You. Ionian." Katarina snapped, pointing a dagger at Akali. "Lead me to your stash of donuts and no one gets hurt."

"I stand corrected…" Kayle muttered, glaring at the assassin.

Ashe drew her bow. "Back off and _you_ don't get hurt."

In a flash, the Frost Archer was pinned to the wall in a similar situation as her Freljordian rival. Katarina flipped a dagger in her hand. "Freljordians. Pshh." Her jade eyes returned to Akali. "You have 10 seconds to decide."

Lux whimpered and hid behind Kayle, who in turn tried to use Lux as a shield, both to no success.

"5. 4. 3. 2-"  
>"I challenge you to a duel, then." Akali said desperately.<p>

Katarina narrowed her eyes. "A… Duel?"

"Uh… Yeah." The Fist of Shadow said. "If you win, you get my donuts. If you lose, me and my friends get to leave without being harmed."

"Ha! Alright then. I agree to your silly little duel. What weapons shall we fight with?" The assassin asked nonchalantly. Akali's eyes flickered in the direction of the kitchen, which was still relatively close. She knew that she could not use a traditional weapon or else faced the chance of losing her donuts. But…

"Ice cream." She blurted out the first thing that came to mind. The Noxian looked confused. "What the fuck?" She spat, sheathing the dagger in favor of two sabers and stalking towards the Ionian.

"Ice cream." Akali said again. "It's a… Tradition! In Ionia." She made up. "The first person to knock the other over with ice cream wins."

"This is absurd." Katarina said. "You Ionians are _absurd_!"

"Do you want the donuts or not?"

"FINE!" Katarina snapped. "I agree to this pathetic little farce."

**15 minutes later…**

"START!" Lux exclaimed, commencing the start of the duel. Katarina and Akali both had two huge buckets of half-melted ice cream, and were standing on opposite sides of the large mess room. The tables had been overturned to offer a small arena (and shelter for the spectators) and Sejuani was still stuck to the wall, watching the proceedings curiously.

Lux and Kayle hid together behind the tables, Ashe next to them after being taken down from the wall.

Katarina dipped her hand into a bucket of vanilla ice cream and launched it at Akali, who didn't dodge quite in time. The white desert splattered over her green clothes.

The Ionian started scooping up chocolate ice cream and catapulting it at the Noxian, who took a hit to the face.

The enraged Sinister Blade followed that by taking the whole bucket and teleporting behind Akali, upending the contents over her head. The two started launching ice cream at close quarters, Katarina taking from Akali's bucket. "Hey!" Akali exclaimed. After more shots were exchanged, both started backing up away from each other. Katarina almost tripped over the tables.

"This is ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS!" Katarina yelled, covered in sticky dairy. Both champions had difficulty seeing through the ice cream on their faces, and Akali became worried that she might actually lose this duel… And her precious donuts.

Another few minutes passed, and the ground was covered in ice cream. Akali took a few steps back and hurled another ball of chocolate at the Sinister Blade, who teleported again. The Ionian was hit by an ice cream ball in the face, and then another, and then another. Disoriented, she lost her footing on the slippery ground and fell with a 'SPLASH!'.

Breathing heavily, Katarina gazed down, victorious, at Akali. "I won this pathetic little duel!" She panted. "Now honor your end of the agreement! WHERE ARE THE DONUTS?!"

'_All this for… DONUTS?' _Sejuani thought, fighting back a laugh. Who knew that the Noxian had a love for donuts?

A dejected Akali stood up and led a triumphant Katarina back to the library, where the others were still duking it out. When they entered, the fighting stopped again, replaced by looks of confusion. "Sinister Blade?" Ryze asked at the same time that Leona asked, "Why are you guys covered in… Is that shit?"

"No… Actually, that's ice cream." Lux said from behind the two women, having, along with Ashe and Kayle, followed them. Shen nodded. "Now I get why we aren't allowed in the kitchen…"

"I'm not even gonna ask…" Ezreal muttered, the book dropping from his hand as Akali led Katarina between two towering bookcases.

**A/N: Hi guys! I just wanted to let you all know how grateful I am for the feedback on my story! I know it's a little random at times but, hey, it's meant to make you laugh. **

**I can't promise that I will update this again soon, but I promise that next chapter, the randomness will start to lessen and start following a track. But I wanted to ask you something: Are there any characters you want me to implement? Just let me know!**

**Thank you for reading :)**

**XOXO~ Creator0fWords**


	4. Chapter 4: Doors and Baths

**Chapter 4: Doors and Baths**

Leona stirred and flipped over, groaning at the headache pounding between her eyes. The sunlight, for once, was too bright. She rolled to the other side and landed on something soft and squishy.

The soft and squishy thing started making muffled noises and thrashing about under the armor-clad Radiant Dawn, who sat up and blinked, surprised.

"Morning, Sunshine." Someone said. Leona struggled to stand up and looked towards the speaker.

Katarina was perched on an armchair, munching on a glazed donut. As they met eyes, the assassin smirked, motioning to the donut. "Want one?"

Leona responded with a soft grunt and fell back down, landing on the soft and squishy thing again. It screamed, which startled and woke up everyone in the vicinity. "Wha-what the hell?" Shen mumbled, sitting up. He yawned and stretched, before getting to his feet.

Leona had gotten up again, and realized that she had fallen on top of Ezreal. The annoyed Prodigal Explorer picked himself off the floor, brushing himself off. "What the fuck!" He yelled at Leona. "You're so freaking heavy!"

"Sorry!" Leona exclaimed, backing away. Ezreal had picked up another book (The Demacian Diaries II) and was walking towards Leona.

The book flew out of his hands and was pinned against the wall by a dagger.

"Now, now," Katarina chided, finishing off the donut and getting up to leave. "Can't have violence before lunch, can we? It's bad karma during Snowdown." She whistled before walking off to her room.

"You know, she's right." Shen said.

"For once…" Ezreal muttered darkly.

**The North Wing**

"Shit shit shit shit…" Akali muttered, thinking about her lost treasure, her eyes cast onto the floor. She had just woken up, outside the library of all places, and was heading back to her room. Or so she thought.

The Fist of Shadow glanced up, for the first time noticing her surroundings.

"This isn't the East Wing…!" She realized, turning back around, but it was too late.

"Well, well, well… What have we here?" The Sinister Blade drawled, smiling wickedly at Akali, who gulped. "A lone Ionian… In the _North Wing?_ My, you must have quite the death wish."

"N-no! It's not like that! I..." Akali trailed off as Katarina stalked closer, twin daggers clutched in her hands.

"Then what is it?" The Noxian asked, relishing the fear etched onto the ninja's face.

"I… I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." Akali admitted. Katarina stopped and laughed. "Really? Why? Because of the donuts?"

Akali didn't want to admit that that _was_ the reason. That, and waking up to Ezreal screaming.

"Err… No. Ezreal screams quite loud…"

A door opened and Akali looked behind her fearfully, only to realize that it was Katarina. '_Wait what?'_ She thought, turning back around to where the assassin had originally been standing, only to find it empty. The Ionian was hit by a sudden jab of jealousy at the Noxians ability to teleport, which disappeared as quickly as it had come. The jealousy was replaced by hope and she dashed towards the clear hallway… Only to run into leather and steel.

"Pitiful." Katarina sniffed. She inclined her head towards the open door. "Get in."

**A little earlier that morning… **

"Mmm…" Lux sighed as she woke up. Her bright blue eyes fluttered open as she sat up in bed, feeling refreshed and blissful. Until someone interrupted her stretching.

"Good morning, Luxie." Ashe cooed. Lux's head snapped towards the Frost Archer who was lying next to her, ice blue shining mischievously. The Lady of Luminosity gaped. "Wha- what are you doing here?" She squeaked, lifting the covers to see if they had their clothes on. Which they did. Thankfully.

Ashe frowned. "You don't remember last night?"

The gears in Lux's mind churned. "No… Should I?" She asked, half-fearfully.

The Freljordian laughed. "We snuck by the library again and stole some drinks, then marathoned _The Tales of the Poro King_ season 2. We must've fallen asleep in your bed…"

"Oh." Lux breathed, relieved that she hadn't 'slept' with the Frost Archer. Now that she thought about it, though, she did recall marathoning the show…

"OH!" She exclaimed, then started laughing. Ashe joined in and sat up, kicking off the blankets. She was dressed in a white t-shirt and blue shorts, snow white hair messy.

Lux quickly glanced in her own mirror, hanging across from her bed. She, too, had messy hair and was dressed similarly to Ashe although with long sweatpants.

Ashe headed into the bathroom and Lux started choosing her clothes for the day.

_Hmmm… Normal bra, white shirt, and blue pants? No… _

She decided on blue leggings with a white skirt and light armor on top… Which was pretty much her usual outfit.

The Frost Archer emerged from the bathroom, combing her hair with Lux's hairbrush. The Demacian headed into the bathroom and picked up her toothbrush. The bristles were stiff, as if frozen. She peered closer and noticed tiny droplets of water had frozen to the handle.

"Oh! Hope you don't mind, Lux. I sorta used your toothbrush…"

**After breakfast…**

"I wonder where Akali disappeared to?" Lux wondered as she and Ashe headed out of the mess hall after grabbing a bite to eat. As they walked by the library, they heard a loud scream rent the air. "What the…?" Lux and Ashe both exclaimed at the same time. They stopped around the corner from the library, looking at each other and immediately started sprouting theories.

"Ahri taking a soul?" Ashe wondered.

"Taric losing a gem?" Lux countered.

"Teemo's mushrooms?"

"Poro's?"

"Princess Snugglebums being kidnapped by General Fluffy?!"

"KATARINA RAPING SOMEBODY?!"

"..."

"What?"

"Err… Nothing." Ashe responded. Lux glared at her. "It's more believable than Princess Snugglebums being kidnapped by General Fluffy!"

"Sure…" Was the muttered response. Suddenly, Ashe's head snapped away from Lux and locked onto someone moving towards the dorms.

Lux noticed too. "Is that… Akali?"

"Looks like it." Ashe responded. They watched as she walked through the doorway that led to the North Wing. The two friends looked at each other in shock. "What…?!"

Lux was about to follow but was restrained by Ashe. She looked at the archer questioningly and opened her mouth but Ashe placed a finger over Lux's lips, jerking her head towards the hallway. The Demacian's eyes widened.

A red-headed woman rounded the corner from the library and headed towards the North Wing… And Akali.

"Crap!" Lux mouthed to Ashe. As Katarina disappeared into the North Wing, Lux and Ashe slowly crept closer, flattening themselves right outside the doorway. They heard voices within.

"... My, you must have quite the death wish." A harsh voice said. Ashe locked eyes with Lux and mouthed, "_Katarina."_

"N-no! It's not like that! I..." Another voice answered, tainted in fear.

"_Akali."_ Lux mouthed back.

"Then what is it?" Katarina asked. It was clear that she was enjoying herself. "I… I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." Akali defended. A sinister laugh rolled through the air and Lux shivered.

"Really? Why? Because of the donuts?"

"Err… No. Ezreal screams quite loud…"

'_Oh… So it was Ezreal that screamed...'_ Ashe thought. '_Not Katarina raping somebody.' _She looked pointedly at Lux who rolled her eyes, seeming to get the message. "It was a theory!" The Demacian whispered.

The sound of a door opening alerted both back to the exchange happening.

They heard light footsteps approaching quickly and then a muted _thud._

"Pitiful." Katarina sniffed. "Get in."

Lux and Ashe stared, wide-eyed, at each other. In unison, they peeled themselves off the wall and tiptoed down the hallway to Katarina's door, ears glued to the wood.

**Inside the room…**

"What do you want with me?" Akali whispered, backing into a corner. A sadistic smile formed on Katarina's face as the door shut. "Oh, so many things, little Ionian. But let's start with..." She whispered, gliding closer to Akali. The tip of a steel dagger lifted the Fist of Shadow's chin up, and Katarina vaguely realized that she didn't have the slightest idea what she was planning to do with the Ionian. Scaring somebody was one thing, but forcing them into the room _and _scaring them was another. Still, the assassin knew when to take advantage of situations.

Her jade eyes bored into Akali's brown ones, and the tip of the knife drew away. Akali seemed surprised until…

"Target practice."

Katarina spun on her heel, releasing a steady flow of deadly knives, which stuck in the wall around the terrified ninja. Akali closed her eyes, praying that she wouldn't get hit as the Death Lotus continued, daggers sliding smoothly from hidden sheaths into the Sinister Blade's hands, until she had run out.

Akali lifted one eyelid slowly when the flow of knives stopped, and Katarina smiled smugly at her, looking completely unfazed despite having spun in a circle for 2 minutes straight. The knives had completely outlined the Ionians body, even wedged in the small space between her arm and her ribcage. The Noxian blew a stray strand of red hair out of her face and sat down, contemplating what to do next with her captive.

**Outside the room…**

Ashe and Lux waited to hear the dull wet sound of a knife slicing into their friends flesh. Their ears were starting to hurt from being pressed to the door, but they couldn't remove them after Katarina had declared, 'Target practice.'

Suddenly, the sounds of knives hitting the wall stopped.

The Frost Archer and the Lady of Luminosity met each others eyes, terrified, when suddenly…

"What are you two doing?" Someone whispered.

They jumped and barely managed to contain their screams before realizing that the asker was not an angry Noxian.

"I-I can ask the same of you!" Ashe whispered back. Taric huffed and crossed his arms. "I asked first, gurl."

Ashe and Lux looked at each other again before the latter blurted out, "We were checking the door! We're Door Monitors!" Lux made up. Ashe glared at her. "_What?! He'll never believe that!"_ She hissed.

Taric looked astonished. "Monitors of doors? How was I not notified of this!" He cried, outraged. Thankfully, loud music had suddenly erupted from Katarina's room, preventing the Noxian from hearing the conversation.

"Since I first joined the League, I have been filing complaints about the doors! THESE DOORS ARE NOT FIT FOR CHAMPIONS! I MEAN, LOOK AT THEM!" He puffed, jabbing a finger at a door. "They lack more style than that explorer! I mean, look at his clothes!" Taric ranted. "I MUST DEMAND MEMBERSHIP TO THIS DOOR MONITORS CLUB!" He declared, looking expectantly at the two women.

Ashe looked shocked, and Lux looked relieved. "Ok then… Why don't you check the uh… Doors… In the East Wing?" Lux suggested. Taric nodded. "Good idea! After Sejuani charged down that hallway 5 minutes ago, I bet there will be some damage!"

Ashe paled even more. "Sejuani? How… DID YOU LET HER DOWN?!" She all but shrieked. Taric nodded before heading down the hallway. "Yup!" He chirped. "She looked uncomfortable!"

Lux shook her head. "Let me guess… Your room is in the East Wing?" She asked Ashe.

"Mhmm."

"Great…"  
>There was a moment of silence before they heard a distant roar of "I'M COMING FOR YOU NOXIAN BITCH!" Coming slowly closer.<p>

Desperately, Lux started pounding on Katarina's door, much to Ashe's astonishment. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

The music stopped and Lux was about to respond when the door was roughly yanked open. Katarina looked menacing, the scar over her eye making her look more dangerous than Sejuani. Ashe briefly considered running to the other Freljordian rather than facing a Noxian assassin.

"What?" Katarina snapped, green eyes flashing. "Can't you see I'm busy?"

Akali was tied down on the bed, a gag in her mouth and an apple balanced on her forehead.

"Sejuani is heading this way, and coming for you!" Lux managed to say before said person suddenly appeared at the end of the hall. Ashe screamed at the same time that Sejuani saw her. "ASHE!" The Winters Wrath growled. Ashe ran into Katarina's room and slammed the door, Lux with her. The Noxian had opened a window and was judging the distance to the ground. "I'm not even going to _ask_ which idiot let him down!" She seethed before jumping.

Lux had managed to untie Akali and both were about to jump just as the door burst open, revealing a very angry looking champion.

"RUN!" Ashe yelled, grabbing one of Katarina's daggers (which where still stuck to the wall) and blindly launching it at Sejuani before jumping out of the window.

Akali caught her at the bottom and together with Lux started following the red-headed Noxian, who was running towards the nearest safe building: the bathhouse.

**The bathhouse...**

"Ahh…" Leona sighed as she slowly lowered herself into the relaxing hot water. It had been a stressful morning so far, she recalled. First, she'd woken up with a nasty hangover. The next, she'd being the target of Ezreal and his library books. And then she had to deal with listening to Taric rant about which color gem suited his eyes the best during breakfast. A _looong _breakfast. Just as the water was finally soothing her, the ground started shaking. Confused, Leona quickly got out of the tub and wrapped a towel around herself just as the door slammed open to reveal a flustered looking Katarina; Ashe, Lux, and Akali weren't too far behind her, and behind them, was the source of the shaking. Sejuani.

As Leona watched, transfixed, Lux tripped over a rock and was sent sprawling. Akali and Ashe reached the safety of the bathhouse, panting for breath, before realizing that Lux wasn't with them.

They turned to see her getting to her feet, Sejuani closing the space between them rapidly and screaming at the top of her lungs, "BITCH NOXIAN! ASHE! COME OUT HERE AND FIGHT ME LIKE WOMEN!"

Katarina gulped and teleported to the roof, while Ashe called desperately to her friend. "LUX! USE FLASH!"

Lux's face reddened. "WHAT?!"

"DO IT!"

Lux sighed. "I don't know what it will do but FINE!"

The Demacian stopped running a couple steps from safety and started undoing her armor, throwing it to the ground before struggling to take off her skirt and pants. Akali's eyes widened and Ashe facepalmed. "NO! NOT THAT KIND OF FLA-"

_BAM!_

The last thing that Lux remembered seeing were the horrified faces of her friends and double rainbows.

**A/N: Alrighty then! The guest cameo for this chapter was Taric *ahem* who was requested by one of my friends. The next chapter most likely will come out sometime either tomorrow or in a few days. I wrote this whole chapter in one sitting (lol), and I don't know if it was that good. As always, thank you for reading and reviewing, and which champion would you like to see in chapter 6? (I have chapter 5 already planned)**

**XOXO~ Creator0fWords**


	5. Chapter 5: Bets and Freljordians

**Chapter 5: Bets and Freljordians**

Katarina panicked at the sound of Sejuani's voice yelling, "BITCH NOXIAN! ASHE! COME OUT HERE AND FIGHT ME LIKE WOMEN!". After all, all her knives were still stuck to the wall, and she hadn't even eaten breakfast yet. Who fights a raging Freljordian on an empty stomach?!

At least, those were the excuses the assassin gave herself as she teleported to the roof. Thankfully, the roof was flat, and Katarina watched the scene unfold, muttering the commentary to herself.

"Blondie tripping over a rock. Archer yelling at her. Blondie getting up. Blondie stripping."

She started, thinking over what she'd said. '_BLONDIE STRIPPING?!'_

The assassin watched numbly as Sejuani charged closer and Akali screamed, "NO! NOT THAT KIND OF FLASH!"

_BAM!_

Katarina winced in empathy as the Demacian was knocked into the air and landed heavily on the ground, limp and unconscious.

Apparently confused, Sejuani stopped her charging for a moment and looked over at Lux, before turning back to the bathhouse. Heavy charms shielded the building, preventing champions from inflicting injuries on each other. It was either too much work or too taxing to keep the rest of the Institute like that, so the High Council had decided to only ward the bathhouse, where most fights had seemed to break out… Mostly due to peeping toms. Naturally.

Although Katarina couldn't see her, she knew that Akali was not happy with the Winters Wrath almost killing her friend.

**Inside the bathhouse… **

Akali was shocked as she watched Lux's body fly into the air and hit the ground. Ashe gasped audibly, and Leona just stared.

"Ashe?" Akali whispered. The Frost Archer turned to her. "What?"

"Do you have your bow?"

Ashe frowned. "No… Aw shit, I must've left it in Lux's room!"

Leona looked at her quizzically. "Lux's room? Forgetting your bow? What did you guys do?"

Ashe opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by Akali. "I'm going in."

She was met with blank stares and open mouths. The Fist of Shadow took out her kama's, turning towards the door. Sejuani was right outside, fixated on the roof.

'_I wonder why I didn't use these earlier...'_ Akali thought as her grip tightened on her weapons and she charged out into the open, yelling, "AS BALANCE DICTATES!"

A second before impact, she teleported behind a confused Sejuani and slashed her across her back. Roaring more in annoyance than pain, the Freljordian turned and unclipped her flail from her belt. The spiked mace came flying towards the ninja assassin, who nimbly flipped away from her and threw a kama. The weapon hit Sejuani square on the helmet and came back to Akali, who vanished in a puff of smoke and appeared again behind her.

The fight went on, and it seemed like Akali would win… Until an errant swing from Sejuani hit Akali right where she teleported, sending the Ionian flying towards Lux.

Sejuani stormed over, chest heaving, eyes blazing. "A valiant fight." She sneered. "But not good enough."  
>Dazed, Akali could not stop Sejuani's blows. A fist struck her square on the jaw, and Sejuani prepared to strike the Ionian with her flail. Akali's eyes closed, braced for the impact.<p>

Nothing.

She opened her eyes to see that Leona had come to her rescue, golden shield protecting her. Ashe had crept up behind Sejuani with Leona's sword.

"No more harm shall come to my friends." The Radiant Dawn hissed menacingly as Ashe struck Sejuani on the back of her head with a loud, _CLONK!_

The Winters Wrath collapsed, unconscious, and Ashe nudged her rivals head with her toe. "Huh. Her head _is_ as thick as I thought."

Leona snorted and took her sword back from Ashe. "Help me get these 3 to Soraka." She glared pointedly at the empty roof. "It doesn't look like Katarina is gonna help."

Ashe's eyes locked onto something over Leona's shoulder. "Uh… Leona?"

The Solari ignored her. "I mean, since when does that Noxian bitch ever help? All she can do is kill! I'd kiss Ezreal _on the lips_ if she came to help! HA!" Leona laughed. Ashe didn't join in. "Leona…"

"What?" Realization dawned on the Radiant Dawn's face. "She's behind me isn't she."

A nod was the response from Ashe.

"Well, well, pucker up those lips, lover girl. One explorer is about to get a big surprise." The assassin laughed.

**The infirmary…**

"3?!" The Starchild exclaimed as Leona handed her the forms. "At this rate, I'm going to run out of rooms!" Soraka glared at Katarina. "Can you _please_ stop injuring your fellow champions?"

The Noxian smirked. "My handiwork is much neater. The Demacian," She said, indicating Lux, "Was run over by Sejuani. This one," She jabbed a finger at Akali, "Was fighting Sejuani. And Sejuani, was knocked out by Ashe."

Soraka sighed. "Get them on the beds."

**In the West Wing…**

Leona looked apprehensively at the polished wood door. '_Why did I have to say that?!'_ She chided herself as Katarina gave her the side-eye. "Well? You gonna knock or should I?"

The Solari swallowed hard, and before she could think too much on it, lifted a fist and quickly knocked twice on the door.

Katarina teleported onto the ceiling beams as Ezreal opened the door, looking surprised to see Leona. "Leona? What a… Surprise…" He trailed off, thinking back to when he had been trying to beat her head in with a book. Leona smiled sheepishly. "Erm… I wanted to apologize for last night…"

"Oh." Ezreal blinked. "Sure, apology accepted." He seemed to be in a hurry. "I'm sorry, too, for trying to kill you with a book."  
>Leona barked a short laugh, her heartbeat accelerating. "Ah, it's ok. Oh my gosh Ezreal i'm so sorry for this…"<p>

The explorer looked confused. "Wha- MMM!"

Leona shut her eyes and pressed her lips against his briefly before pulling away, face red. "I'm sorry, I-"

"EZREAL!" A hurt voice exclaimed from within his room. The Piltoverian's face reddened as he turned. "I-I'm sorry Taric! It's not what it looks like! I swear I don't even kno-"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE!" Taric wailed, pushing past Ezreal and Leona. "I KNEW YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME! I KNEW IT!"

Leona looked startled. "What? You two?" She asked, pointing back and forth between them. "Are… A… Thing?"

Ezreal looked like a tomato now. "I-"

Taric sniffed. "So what? Not anymore!" He glared at Ezreal.

Leona blinked. "Taric… I lost a bet, it's not what it looks like!"

The Gem Knight shook his head. "No! I don't care! You are all liars!" He stormed off. Ezreal looked at Leona, looking somewhat relieved. "Uh… Thanks. That just made breaking up with him a hella lot easier."

**Later that night… **

"CAITLYN!" Shen exclaimed as the Sheriff walked into the mess hall, looking somewhat pale but better than before. She cracked a small smile. "Hey, Shen."

Ashe looked up from her chicken and potatoes. "Evening, Caitlyn." She smiled, motioning to the empty seat next to her. Caitlyn sat down and stole a potato from Leona. "Thanks."

Ryze was sitting in a corner reading. Ashe, Leona, and Shen had been sitting together eating dinner at a table.

"... So then what happened?" Ashe prodded from Leona, whose face reddened.

"So I kissed him, and then… And then…" She trailed off. Someone else finished her sentence for her. "And then Taric started screaming at Ezreal for cheating on him. Ha! I always knew there was something up there." Katarina laughed as she sat down at the next table, plate loaded with food.

Caitlyn's face paled as their eyes met and Katarina smirked. "Glad to see your feeling better, _Sheriff._"

"Back off, Katarina." Leona said, glaring at the Noxian, who laughed. "You're just mad that you had to kiss Ezreal! That'll teach you to backtalk me."

Caitlyn looked utterly confused. "What did I miss?"

Leona had just finished telling her about the bet when Kayle entered the room, wearing a gold shirt and red shorts.

"Hey, Kayle!" Caitlyn called cheerily. Kayle gave a quick smile before her eyes settled on Katarina, who plastered a smirk on her face. "How's your arm?"

Kayle gritted her teeth. "Fine. How's your face? Akali nailed you pretty hard there."

"The donuts were worth it." Was the curt reply.

Kayle gave a stiff nod and sat with her friends.

"Err… So, Caitlyn." Shen said. "What was on that paper you were waving around before you tripped and uh… Ended up in the infirmary?" He asked with a pointed look in Katarina's direction.

"OH!" Caitlyn's face brightened. "My new blueprint for a Decision-Making Device! I call it the DMD!"

"Great. So what's it do?" Leona asked.

"Uh hold on I've got a prototype in my pocket…" Caitlyn rummaged around until her fingers brushed against something. "Ah! Here!" She declared, displaying it in the middle of the table.

"Uh… Is that a… _Vibrator_?" Shen asked warily. Caitlyn's face reddened and she quickly snatched the thing. "Shit!" She mumbled. "Uh… NO!" She said to Shen. "HERE!" Caitlyn exclaimed, slapping a metal device onto the table. It had a small screen and two buttons at the bottom, one reading, '_Answer',_ and the other saying '_Speak'._

"So you push the speak button and ask it a question, then press the answer button and it gives you an answer. Here, I'll demonstrate."

Caitlyn pushed the speak button and the screen lit up.

"Should I take another potato from Leona?" She asked, and then pressed the answer button. The screen turned blue for a couple seconds and there, in big block letters, was the word 'NO'.

Leona smirked. "This things smart."

**The Dorm Halls…**

Katarina stood in the room that connected the 3 dorm hallways. Footsteps echoed from behind her, and the assassin turned just in time to see a silver-haired woman turn into the hallway, hands in her pockets. She froze when she saw Katarina, who hissed. "Exile."

"Sinister Blade." Riven replied, returning the glare and walking towards her dorm hall, the East Wing.

"Coward."

"Bitch."

Katarina sneered. "That the best you've got? I thought you were _Noxian._" She spat. Riven's amber eyes narrowed. "I am in no mood to pick a fight tonight, assassin." She retorted, entering the shadow of the East Wing corridor. "And I am not Noxian. Not anymore."

**The East Wing, a few minutes later…**

"Riven!" Ashe called to the Exile, who looked up, hand on her door. Ashe stopped. "Holy Avarosa…!"

All the doors that Sejuani had knocked down had been replaced, which was all of them in this Wing. The doors were now a polished mahogany with gem-encrusted handles, and the doorframes had been gilded with white marble.

"Yeah, I know right?" Riven replied. "What happened, summoners suddenly decide to give us an early Snowdown present?"

Ashe looked uncomfortable. "Actually, that may be me and Lux's fault…" She realized, thinking back to the morning. "We uh… You know what, come into my room and I'll tell you the story."

**Ashe's room...**

The Queen of Freljord had a spacious room. A queen-sized bed covered in silk sheets dominated the left side of the room. Across from the door was a small hallway which led to the bathroom and walk-in closet. The window was across from the bed, and a big sturdy desk was seated in front of it. Against the wall by the door were couches and a glass coffee table, a TV hanging next to the hallway.

Riven gaped as she walked in; the room was twice as big as her own!

They sat down on the couch and Ashe told her about the Door Monitors.

Just as she finished the story, there were a couple loud knocks on the door.

"Come in! It's open!" Ashe called, and the door opened to admit Kayle, Leona, and Caitlyn. They all smiled and nodded at Riven. "Hey."

The Exile nodded back. "Hey, Kayle. Caitlyn. Leona."

The 3 new arrivals shut the door and plopped down on the big couch. "What's up with the doors?" Caitlyn asked. "I wish my room was in the East Wing." She said wistfully. Ashe sighed. "Riven, help me tell the story?"

After Ashe had explained her and Lux's run-in with Taric, Leona was doubled over laughing. "DOOR MONITORS? And he _fell for that?_ HAHAHAHAHA!"

Caitlyn smirked and took out her DMD. "Is Taric dumb?" She asked it.

Big block letters spelt out, '_In this situation, very."_

Riven looked curious. "What's that?"

"Oh, you know. A little something I was going to show everyone, before Katarina nearly killed me." Caitlyn answered. "It's called the DMD. You ask it a question, and it gives you an answer. Only yes or no questions, though."

"Can I try?" Riven asked.

"Sure! Be my guest!" The Sheriff of Piltover answered, handing over the device. She showed the Exile how to use it.

"Should I go pick a fight with Katarina Du Couteau?"

Riven pressed '_answer'_.

'_WHAT? ARE YOU SUICIDAL?! DO NOT ENGAGE IN DIRECT CONTACT WITH THAT SPECIMEN. I RECOMMEND POISON OR DRUGS WHEN HANDLING. CAUTION IS DEEPLY ADVISED.' _

"Uh… This machine seems kind of biased." Riven said, holding it out to Caitlyn, who took one glance at the screen and raised an eyebrow. "Whoa."

"What?" Ashe, Leona, and Kayle asked at the same time. Wordlessly, Caitlyn handed the device to Ashe, who passed it to Leona, who passed it to Kayle. Eyebrows were raised.

"I don't think she's that dangerous." Leona said. "Sejuani's scarier, especially if she's mad."

Everybody agreed, and then sighed. Poor Lux and Akali.

**A/N: Hi! So I know this chapter may not be as funny, but I kinda hit a writers block *awkwardly laughs*… And if you couldn't already tell, the cameo this time was Riven, as requested by tomy98! If you got any characters you wanna see, just tell me and i'll see if I can work them in. **

**Next update: I HAVE NO CLUE BECAUSE THE WEEKENDS ARE OVER.**

**Reviews are appreciated! XOXO~ Creator0fWords**


	6. Chapter 6: Spiders and Plans

**Chapter 6: Spiders and Plans**

Lux rolled over and groaned. She felt like she'd been run over by a bulldozer. Which she kinda had…

"Oh good, you're awake." A voice said. The mage blinked her eyes open slowly. "Wha-what? Where am I?"

"The infirmary, Luxanna. You took quite the hit. 3 broken ribs, broken arm, sprained ankle…" Soraka listed.

Lux gulped. "The last thing that I remember is… OH! Oh! Well that makes sense."

The Starchild gave an unlady-like snort. "That Freljordian is a freaking _BULLDOZER._ You're lucky you made it out _alive!"_

Lux turned paler and gulped, sitting up. She wore a thin white gown and could see that her chest was wrapped up in bandages. Her arm was attached to a sling on the ceiling, and her leg was propped up on pillows. Across the room lay Sejuani on another bed, and Akali was on the bed next to Lux. Both were still sleeping.

"How long have I been out?" Lux wondered. Soraka checked the clock on the wall. "Hm… You came in at 11am, so… About 7 hours!"

The mage stared. "_7 hours?!"_

"Mhmm. Anyway, I can let you out soon, you just needed to be awake for me to heal you properly."

The Lady of Luminosity sighed. "Alright."

**10 minutes later...**

Akali woke to the sound of Lux screaming as her bones knit back together. The ninja tried to move, but her body was sore where Sejuani had landed the lucky shot that had put her down, and her face hurt. She groaned instead.

"Hang on, Lux. Almost done…" A strained voice muttered, and the mage gave a last piercing scream before Soraka finally gasped, "Done!"

Lux lay panting on the bed, feeling pain everywhere, which slowly gave way to… Nothing. After a few minutes, she felt completely normal. Soraka stood up, watching the golden magic drain from Lux's body.

"How… How come Caitlyn had to take a few days then?" Lux managed to ask. The curiosity had burned at her since Soraka had told her the procedure would only take a couple minutes. The Starchild pursed her lips. "Caitlyn had her sternum crushed. That took longer to heal. Plus, she felt really sore for a while."

"She seemed fine, though, when we brought her here…"

"The Sheriff of Piltover knows better than to go anywhere without a health potion or two, especially at the Institute."

"Ah, I see…" Lux sighed, relaxing. Her blond hair was soaked with sweat, and her hands hurt from being clenched so tightly into fists for so long.

"You ok, Lux?" A soft voice asked from her left. The Demacian turned her head slightly to see Akali trying to sit up, wincing in pain.

"Hey, you're up! Well, I should be asking you the same thing. How come you're in the infirmary too?" Lux asked her friend. Akali, who had managed to sit up, glared across the room at Sejuani, who was apparently unaffected by all the screaming. She was still lying serenely on the bed.

"Well, after Sejuani sent you flying, I tried to fight her. Didn't turn out so well, but Leona and Ashe managed to knock her unconscious. Actually, more like, Ashe hit her upside the head with Leona's sword." Akali gave a small laugh and winced. Soraka handed her a health potion and then left. The Ionian downed the contents in one gulp and gave a content sigh as the pain slowly ebbed away and continued. "So then, Katarina, Leona, and Ashe brought us here-"  
>"Hold up a sec…" Lux interrupted, blue eyes confused. "Did you say… <em>Katarina?<em> _SHE _helped us?"

"I KNOW RIGHT! But it could've been because Leona said she'd kiss Ezreal _on the lips_ if she came to help! I mean, come on. Since when does Katarina ever do things out of the goodness of her heart?" Akali laughed. Lux giggled. "I didn't even think she _had_ a heart!"

"Oh, trust me, she does." The ninja deadpanned. "I've stabbed her through it a couple times on the Fields of Justice."

The two laughed and talked some more before dozing off.

**Ashe's room… **

"So, what _was_ Taric doing in the North Wing?" Riven asked. Night had fallen, and the girls were still in Ashe's room, just talking. Caitlyn and Kayle had left a while ago, leaving Riven, Ashe, and Leona.

"Why don't we ask him tomorrow?" Ashe suggested, curious as well. Leona cut in. "You can't. He returned to Demacia on Jarvan IV's orders… Needed someone to help him pick colors for the castle or something."

"Oh."

"Well," Leona said, standing up and stretching. "It was fun catching up, Riven, but I think i'll be heading off to bed." She flashed a smile and headed next door. Riven stood up as well. "I'll be going too." The Exile smiled and nodded at Ashe before following Leona out the door. Her room was down the hall a bit from Ashe's, but as she stepped out the door, the red hair of Katarina caught her attention, lurking down the hall by Riven's room. The assassin had not noticed Riven, who quickly ducked her head back into Ashe's room and shut the door. The Frost Archer, still on the couch, raised her head. "You ok?"

"Fine." Riven gulped. "Can I stay here tonight?" She asked nervously. Ashe raised an eyebrow. "What's up?"

The Exile looked nervous. "Erm… Katarina's outside my room."

Understanding dawned on Ashe's face. "Oh! I see. In that case, be my guest! But I only have one set of blankets…" She admitted.

"Oh, it's fine."

**The following morning…**

'_Why hasn't she come out of her room yet?'_ The Noxian assassin wondered. Katarina hadn't seen Riven go _into_ her room, either, but assumed that it was because she was already in it. The assassin had returned this morning at 6, determined to catch the Exile. But 3 hours later, still no sign of her. There hadn't been a peep from the room.

Just as she decided that Riven wasn't here, a muffled voice screamed, "RIVEN!"

The voice had come from Ashe's room.

"I'm com- ahhhh!" was the reply. Mystified, Katarina crept to the door. She heard noises inside; someone ruffling the blankets, a squelching noise, and a low moan.

The assassin slowly backed away from the door, horrified, before quickly running down the hallway, away from Riven and Ashe.

**Ashe's room…**

"RIVEN!" Ashe screamed, pointing at a spider. The Frost Archer had just woken up to find a large black spider on the wall.

"I'm com- ahhhh!" Riven exclaimed, running out of the shower and slipping on the wet floor. Ashe quickly kicked off the blankets and ran to Riven, who had stood up, moaning in pain as she held her head.

"Are you ok?" The Freljordian asked. Riven grit her teeth and nodded. "I'll be fine. Now what's wrong?"

"Err…" Ashe felt oddly embarrassed about admitting her fear of spiders. She pointed a finger at it, and Riven's eyes widened.

"MONSTER!" She screeched, all pain forgotten as she grabbed her sword and swung it at the wall, decimating the spider and destroying Ashe's wall.

Breathing heavily, she blinked and observed her handiwork. "Uh… Sorry Ashe!"

Ashe was still standing there, blinking slowly. "... It's ok. I'll get Heimerdinger to fix it. Or the summoners… Whoever gets back first."

Riven nodded sheepishly. "Well, at least the spiders dead."

**Meanwhile…**

'_This is what she gets for doing something violent before lunch, hah!' _Katarina thought as she paused by the infirmary, recalling the beautiful memory of Sejuani getting her helmet bashed in by Ashe. Nothing bad had yet to happen to Ashe, but Katarina knew that something would soon. The spirits of Snowdown were quite the sticklers.

The Noxian continued past the infirmary, towards the mess hall, stomach growling. She needed something to distract her from what she'd heard that morning. '_Bacon will do it'_, she thought, heaping the delicious meat onto a plate and heading back to her room.

Katarina kicked open her door and stopped cold.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!" She screeched, setting her bacon on a table and grabbing two of her knives out, glaring daggers at her sister.

Cassiopeia looked up from Katarina's underwear drawer. "Looking for something. Mr Snuggles has gone missing!" She hissed, rifling through the assassins underwear. "I know you have him in here somewhere!"

Katarina snorted. "What the fuck would I want with your stuffed poro?"

The Noxian assassin moved closer to her bed and kicked something underneath further out of sight.

Cassiopeia shut the drawer and glided to the closet. "Well he's gone. And you have _terrible_ taste in lingerie. Pink doesn't suit you."

Katarina reddened and chucked a dagger at her sister, narrowly missing the serpents head and hitting her wall.

The Serpents Embrace hissed at Katarina. "You could've killed me!"

"And yet you're still standing there. I refuse to believe that you would've risked your pretty little head to come into my room. Now why are you really here?" Her sister retorted. Cassiopeia narrowed her slit-like eyes. "Swain wants you back in Noxus for a war council. Right now. And I _am_ searching for Mr Snuggles as well… Swains orders are usually very good cover to search bitch assassins rooms."

Katarina rolled her eyes, two new daggers in her hands. "Tell Swain no. I like it here very much right now. And if I ever catch you in my room again, I'll have a new ornament decorating my fireplace." She jerked her head towards the fireplace across from her bed, a large tapestry of the Du Couteau family crest hanging above it.

She turned to walk out the door, grabbing the bacon. '_Guess i'll have to eat it outside.'_ Katarina thought angrily, yanking her door open only to come face to face with Talon.

Cassiopeia hissed with laughter behind her. "Did I mention that it was not a request? It was an _order._"

**Ashe's room…**

The Frost Archer's room had become a meeting place for her friends, due to the larger size. Riven, Leona, Kayle, Caitlyn, and Ashe were seated on the couch, just talking, when there were a couple knocks on the door.

"Come in! It's open!" They chorused at the same time and burst into giggles.

The door opened to admit Lux and Akali, who'd been discharged that morning. Their faces lit up when they saw everyone. "Hey guys!"

"Lux! Akali! You're back!" Leona jumped up and gave them a hug. Ashe smiled broadly, Kayle beamed, Caitlyn waved, and Riven gave a small head nod.

"Yeah! Got discharged this morning." Akali answered, then turned to Caitlyn. The Ionian smiled. "Glad to see you're out too!"

"Say, what's up with these doors? I tried knocking on half of yours, but turns out you were all here!" Lux said. Ashe shook her head, a giggle escaping her lips. "Taric. Taric's what's up with these doors."

Lux's eyes widened. "Oh my gosh… He actually…" She burst into laughter while Akali looked extremely confused. "Say what?" The ninja asked. Ashe motioned them to sit down, which they did, Lux telling Akali what had happened while she'd been Katarina's 'captive'.

"Wow… You really miss a lot when you're trapped with a crazy Noxian assassin." Akali remarked.

"Hey, at least you didn't miss the Sejuani part." Kayle said, looking at Akali. Lux shivered. "That… Girl… Is psycho!"

Ashe thought for a second. "We'd be better off with her back in Freljord. If only…" She sighed. Caitlyn's eyes widened. "I have an idea!" She exclaimed excitedly. Eyes turned to her. "Speak, child." Kayle demanded. Caitlyn rolled her eyes at being called 'child', but didn't correct her. "We should lure Sejuani's boar back to Freljord! She'll go running after him!"

Ashe brightened. "That's brilliant! Sejuani will go after Bristle for sure! But… How will we do that?"

Kayle cleared her throat. "By 'we', I hope you don't need me. I have to return home tonight. Sorry." The angel said.

"Aww… Don't leave us, Kaylie." Leona whined.

Kayle smacked her on the head.

**A/N: Yay! Another chapter! Cameos: Taric & Cassiopeia, as requested by Disdun. Got any others you want me to put in? I won't be able to get all your suggestions in, but I'll do my best :). **

_**CHALLENGE**_**: While you're waiting for the next chapter, I challenge you to do something. Take a stab at guessing which of the two champions in this story are my mains! I think I write a bit biased (But that's my own opinion hahahaha…)**

**Hint: One has been in the infirmary. **

**Good luck! XOXO~Creator0fWords**


	7. Chapter 7: Piltovians and Poro's

Chapter 7: Piltovians and Poro's

"This isn't Bristle…" Caitlyn muttered, staring at the sight before her.

It was still the morning, about an hour after they had come up with the plan to lure Sejuani back to Freljord, and they were in the stables, where summoners and champions kept their pets. Instead of a boar, Sejuani's stall had a giant… Poro.

"Ah, I forgot." Ashe said. "It's Snowdown! Sejuani got a new poro for Snowdown from the summoners, something about a new skin, when Bristle fell ill."

"Well, this makes it easier then." Riven said. "Anyone got Poro Snax?"

Ashe and Lux eyed each other before Lux finally spoke up. "Uh… Maybe?"

"Pass it over, Blondie." Leona snapped. Lux sheepishly pulled out her baton and waved it in the air, a box of Poro Snax appearing. The mage handed it to Caitlyn, who looked at her quizzically. "What were you doing with that in the first place?" Caitlyn asked. They knew that Lux could only summon things that she had in her room.

"Ah… Er…" Lux mumbled. The Snax were from when she and Ashe had been marathoning Tales of the Poro King season 2. They hadn't eaten them, more like… Worshipped them.

"It was for the Howling Abyss." Ashe saved Lux. "We were uh, practicing there a little while ago…"

Caitlyn still looked suspicious, but shrugged instead of saying anything about their odd behaviour. "So we'll just lay a trail of Snax from here to Freljord."

"..."

The Sheriff turned. "What? Anyone got any better ideas?"

Akali spoke up. "Well, not better. So we're gonna need more boxes…"

"Person with the least has to lay the trail!" Leona exclaimed, running out of the room.

It was a long way from the Institute to Freljord.

An hour later…

"Where the fuck did you get all those boxes?!" Caitlyn gasped as Akali appeared with a towering stack of Poro Snax. The ninja set them down and grinned mischievously. "I have my ways."

The Piltovian shook her head and watched as Leona, Lux, and Ashe walked in each carrying 2 boxes. 2 large boxes. Riven was hard on their heels with 3 big boxes balanced precariously on her shoulders.

"Dammit! I only got this!" Caitlyn exclaimed, kicking a small box at her feet. Leona grinned. "Looks like you're laying the trail, Catie."

The Sheriff groaned and opened her box, taking out a couple biscuits and laying them on the ground in a trail towards the door.

Another hour later…

"Can I help you ladies?" A voice asked. Akali turned to see Yasuo leaning against a tree and she tensed, thinking back to the reason for his exile. They locked eyes, neither saying anything. Leona broke the silence.

"Laying a trail of Poro Snax, what does it look like?" The Solari snapped.

Yasuo raised an eyebrow. "I can see that but… Why?"

Caitlyn stood up, stretching her sore back. She'd been hunching over all morning, laying the Snax in a trail towards the general direction of Freljord. The friends had decided that instead of going all the way to Freljord (Which would take almost 3 weeks on foot), they would go to one of the portals nearby. Which was still a ways to go…

"It's a long story…" Lux said, handing Caitlyn another box.

"I can help if you tell me the story." The Unforgiven replied. Ashe shared a glance with Leona. "Long story short, we need to lay a trail of Poro Snax to lead Sejuani's poro back to Freljord so that Sejuani can go after her and we'll be free of Sejuani for a while." Ashe said. Yasuo's lips turned up a little bit at the corners. "An interesting plan, but how do you plan on keeping the Winters Wrath in Freljord?"

Tucking the box under her arm, Caitlyn reached into her pocket and proudly retrieved a small circular device. "Portal disruptor. She'll have to come back the long way, so we'll be rid of her for at least a week."

"Hm… You've got this all planned out. I'm guessing you're heading to the portal?" Yasuo asked, jerking his head towards the portal. Everyone nodded.

"Ok. I can help. Dump all the biscuits on the ground in a pile."

Confused, the girls did as they were told. After a few minutes, a giant pile of biscuits lay on the ground. Yasuo unsheathed his blade. "Stand behind me."

They obeyed, and the Unforgiven concentrated for a second, eyes closing briefly. "HASAGI!" He exclaimed, slashing his sword diagonally. A tornado swept the biscuits up and deposited them in a neat trail towards the portal. Caitlyn, Leona, Riven, Ashe, Lux, and Akali followed the tornado until it reached a small, runed platform and disappeared. The champions didn't hesitate and walked through.

The portal deposited them in a small forest with a little path leading out. The tornado went in the opposite direction of the path until it ran out of biscuits and dissipated.

"Well… That was interesting." Lux reflected, shivering from the cold. Snow layered the ground, and a biting wind whipped through the air. "Can we please head back before my fingers freeze off?"

No one needed to be told twice. The group trekked back to the portal and went through to find Yasuo leaning against another tree, watching them with a small smile etched onto his stern face.

"Why'd you help us?" Akali asked, with a little more force than necessary. He shrugged. "Why not? Caitlyn looked like she was going to break her back."

Caitlyn huffed. "I'm never making another bet with you people."

"It wasn't a bet." Leona sniffed. "It was a challenge."

"Ok, allow me to rephrase: I am never accepting another bet or challenge from any of you!"

"That's better." Leona conceded.

Akali was still unsatisfied. "What were you doing there in the first place?"

Yasuo shrugged. "I live here. I'm a champion too, you know."

Before Akali could open her mouth again, Ashe cut in. "Ok, that's enough. Thank you, Yasuo," The man nodded. "We should be heading back now. We have to let the poro out, and then find Sejuani. She's probably out of the infirmary by now.

Everybody nodded.

The stable…

'Why me?' Riven thought despairingly as the stall door loomed before her. The team had elected her to release the poro while they went to find Sejuani. 'I could be killed!' She took a deep breath and quickly unlatched the door, leaping to the side as the giant poro came charging out, inhaling the biscuits. It followed the trail perfectly… Until where they had met Yasuo.

'I was right. Ugh.' The Exile thought as the poro stopped eating turned an eye towards Riven, as if expecting the woman to steal its food.

Riven backed up slowly, hand on the hilt of her sword, as the poro charged. But of course, she couldn't actually use the sword. They needed the poro alive.

"FUCK!" She exclaimed and dove to the side. The animal turned around, horns lowered. Riven's eyes widened and she quickly jumped up and ran towards the trail. 'I have to get him to start eating again! Wait, is it a he or a she- WAIT WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT THAT I'M ABOUT TO DIE!'

The poro had charged again and the ex-Noxian jumped away, narrowly missing a tree. She was seriously contemplating just throwing the plan out the window and killing the poro. 'I am NEVER playing on the Howling Abyss again!'

An idea suddenly sprung into her head, and she groaned. It was bad enough to rival Caitlyn's crazy schemes, but she had no choice.

The next time the poro charged, Riven ducked and rolled underneath, fur brushing against her, and then lay completely still, feigning unconsciousness… Or death. Her sword had skidded a few feet away.

Sejuani's poro turned towards Riven, who closed her eyes and tried to hold her breath as it came nearer. Thank the gods that she had trained in Noxian military or else she'd be shaking…

She felt something sniff her and then lean away. Her heart thudded against her chest. 'I'm going to die… Death by poro… The Noxians will be laughing their asses off!'

To her immense surprise and relief, the poro was either too stupid or too preoccupied with the tantalizing Poro Snax to notice that Riven was still alive. It trundled towards the biscuits and started following them again. Riven waited for a couple of heartbeats before slowly rising and following the beast at a distance.

Meanwhile…

"Sejuani was discharged 5 minutes ago." Soraka said, folding the sheets over the bed. Leona and Ashe were standing in the infirmary, Lux, Caitlyn, and Akali outside. They hadn't wanted to revisit the room…

"Oh! Well, thanks Soraka. See you around… Actually, on second thought, I kinda don't want to. But I don't mean it like that, it's just that if I see you I'll probably be in the infirmary and… I'll just be quiet." Ashe mumbled once Leona shot her a glare with the fury of a thousand suns (which the Solari could do quite well).

The duo walked out the door, only to see that Akali was gone.

"Uh, where's Akali?" Leona asked Lux.

"She went to get breakfast." The Demacian mage replied. "And it's a good idea, too, we haven't eaten yet."

"We can always find Sejuani after breakfast… Or should I say, brunch." Caitlyn said, stomach growling. "I'm so hungry I could eat those Poro Snax!"

Leona sighed. "Fine. Riven should be letting the poro out about now anyways."

They trooped to the mess hall, prepared to sit and relax for a bit. They should've known better.

"HELP!" Akali yelled when she saw her friends walk into the room. The ninja was perched on the ceiling, in Katarina's spot. Sejuani was below her, standing on a table and wildly swinging her flail towards the Ionian, shouting, "GET DOWN YOU FUCKING COWARD! GET DOWN AND FIGHT ME LIKE A WOMAN!"

Lux paled, Caitlyn prepped her gun, and Leona handed Ashe her sword.

Sejuani turned to see the four champions and hissed. "Lady of Luminosity. Sheriff of Piltover. Sunshine. And the Fro- ASHE!" The Winters Wrath roared, narrowing her eyes at the Queen, who clutched Leona's sword tighter, sighing, "Can I ever catch a break?!"

Akali jumped down from the ceiling and took out her kama's. "Sorry Ashie. Doesn't look like it."

At that moment, a sight at the window caught Lux's eye, inadvertently saving them all. "Hey! Sejuani! Isn't that your poro?"

"WHAT? WHE- SNOWFLAKE!" Sejuani yelled, forgetting about the champions and running out of the room. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET BACK HERE!"

Leona eyed Caitlyn. "Follow her. You have the device."

The Sheriff sighed. "You're all coming with me!"

The 5 champions followed the Winters Wrath, who didn't notice their presence.

Sejuani charged out the doors of the Institute, after her poro. She caught up just in time to see her ride run through the portal into Freljord. Sejuani leapt in as well.

"Q-Quick, Caitlyn!" Ashe huffed, and the Sheriff took out her device, activating it and tossing it onto the platform. It shone a brilliant blue and sunk into the stone, temporarily deactivating the portal. Everybody heaved a great sigh of relief. Riven came out of the bushes, dirt smearing her clothes and minor cuts and bruises covering her skin from rolling away from the poro.

"Hey Riven, you look… Beaten up…" Leona commented. Riven rolled her eyes. "Can we just head back? I'm half afraid that the device won't work and Sejuani's gonna come charging back any second now."

Caitlyn huffed angrily. "My devices work. Unlike Heimerdinger's. Humph."

The group headed back to the Institute and walked up the stone steps to the large double doors. Lux pushed it open and as they stepped inside, everybody gave another loud sigh. "We're going to have a whole week of peace and quiet now!" Ashe whooped as the door shut. They stood in the entryway for a bit, just enjoying the newfound sense of freedom. "Peace and quiet." Lux sighed. "Ahhh…"

Suddenly, the door banged open and someone boomed, "DRAVEN HAS RETURNED!"

They froze and Riven eyed Caitlyn. "Please tell me that you have another brilliant idea..."

A/N: IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD!

Ahh, another chapter done. Cameo: Yasuo, requested by Rambo Hawk.

It seems a general consensus that my main is… Katarina. You guys can't seem to decide whether the second is Lux, Akali, or Sejuani. Good 'ole Sej. Only ONE person has gotten both of them right! That's good, right? Well, I'll give you a little more time to decide on my other main.

One of my mains is, indeed, Katarina (cue the gasps and cursing). And I'm not trying to be, you know, biased by writing about her a lot, it's because she's one of the main antagonists and you know… They need scheming and the like. So enough of that, I do have something important to say…

I may be starting a new fanfic soon with one of my friends, so this story may not get as much attention as usual (Aka, updates won't happen every second day).

Also! If anyone wants to add me in-game, my IGN is gamergirl1123. Look forward to seeing you on the Rift! =P

As usual, THANK YOU for the reviews, favs, and follows! They give me heart :)

XOXO~ Creator0fWords


	8. Chapter 8: Evil Plots and T-shirts

**Chapter 8: Evil Plots and T-shirts**

"THE COOL, THE AWESOME, THE MIGHTY, THE HANDSOME, DRAAAAAAVEN!" Draven announced, hands on his hips and head thrust towards the ceiling. Riven, Ashe, Caitlyn, Lux, Leona, and Akali watched with horror as Draven noticed them in the room. "Ah! A welcoming party! You shouldn't have! Draven has such adoring fans!" The Noxian gushed, and Leona almost gagged.

"Uh… Sure… Yeah… Well we have to go now BYE!" Lux squeaked and charged out the door. Her friends wasted no time and followed her, none of them stopping until they reached the East Wing.

Draven watched them leave, slightly perplexed. '_Draven's mighty presence must be too much for his fans to bear. No matter! As the awesome person that is Draven, I will let them get accustomed to my awesomeness!'_

The Noxian sauntered off to his room.

**Lux's room…**

The door banged open and Lux jumped into her room, heaving a huge sigh of relief. A couple seconds later, her friends joined her and Ashe shut the door.

"Caitlyn… Please tell me you have another brilliant idea!" Leona groaned, sitting onto Lux's bed.

Riven sighed. "I already asked her that."

"C'MON CAITLYN! USE THAT PILTOVERIAN BRAIN OF YOURS!" Akali yelled, grabbing the Sheriff's shoulders and shaking her.

"Whoa, calm there, Akali!" Ashe sighed, pushing the two apart. Caitlyn stumbled backwards, into the door. "Thanks, Ashe." She mumbled.

Akali sniffed and crossed her arms. "I'm not apologizing if that gave you an idea."

Lux spoke up. "Actually… I have one."

Eyes turned to her and the Lady of Luminosity straightened, smiling. "Draven's an egotistical freak, right?"

Riven snorted. "You can say that again."

"So all we have to do is… Find another egotistical freak!"

Caitlyn rubbed her head. "That _could_ work. But I have a better idea."

The Fist of Shadow punched a fist in the air. "I TOLD YOU!"

The Sheriff of Piltover glared at her. "_Lux_ gave me the idea, you tree-pruning little-"

"CALM IT GUYS!" Leona yelled, and silence fell over the room. "Good. Now," She turned to Caitlyn. "Spit the idea out, hun."

"Well, Draven likes being the center of attention. We need to focus our attention on another guy, the way that Draven wants to be focused on. Like, autographs, paparazzi, all that shit. So all we need to do is find a guy willing to be our… Target." Caitlyn said. "It will distract him so that we can take him out!"

Riven brightened. "Great idea! Except for the fact that right now the only guys here are Ezreal, Shen, and Yasuo. They aren't going to be willing."

"Well, one of us could dress up like a guy, right? That way, when Draven tries to take the guy out, he'll never find him!" Lux suggested. Akali smiled. "Good! Now… Who's going to be our man?"

"How about the person who had the idea?" Leona suggested, smiling sadistically at Lux. "After all, you _are_ the best actress as well."

Lux gulped. "I get the lead role in one of Fiora's plays all of _one time_ and now I'm being asked to pretend to be a _GUY_?!"

"No." Leona stood up. "You're not being _asked_."

"Hey hey hey, sit down, Sunshine." Riven cut in. "I'm not criticizing Lux's acting skills or anything, but I don't think she could be the guy. I mean, look at her!"

Lux smiled awkwardly and waved.

"Yeah… You're right." Caitlyn said. "She's too girly. So who's the most guy-like out of us? Hmmm…"

5 pairs of eyes turned to Riven. "Hmmm…"

The Exile's amber orbs widened. "What?! No! I didn't mean… No, not me, not me!" Her hand went to the hilt of her sword, only to find it missing. She turned to see Lux setting it on the floor, and the mage smiled apologetically at her. "I'm sorry, Riven. But better you than me."

**A little bit later…**

'_Damn… She looks kinda hot.'_ Lux thought as she eyed Riven. The light mage had cast a spell on Riven to make her seem like a guy. A stronger jaw, cropped hair, etc… That had seemed to do the trick.

Leona wolf whistled. "I would _totally _date you!"

Riven's eyes narrowed at the Solari. "I wouldn't date you." Her voice came out the same, and Caitlyn rubbed her head, trying to think of ways to change that.

"Hey! I'm sorry that I had to hold you down, but that could've been any of us! I'm just stronger." Leona smirked, flexing her biceps. Riven snorted. "_You _should've been the guy. You have the attitude."

"The name would've worked better too. I could've been Leo."

"EXACTLY! Now my name is Riley!"

"Well, it's too late now." Lux said. "The spell will last for 45 minutes, so we have 45 minutes to get rid of Draven. Got any ideas on how to change the voice, Caitlyn?"

"Well…"

**The mess hall, 30 minutes later…**

"You all totally owe me, BIG TIME!" Riven complained, her voice now deep and masculine thanks to one of Caitlyn's devices.

"Sure, sure." Ashe grinned. "We ready to start?"

Leona checked the time. "Lux should be here any second. PLACES PEOPLE! IN YOUR PLACES! WE ONLY HAVE ONE SHOT TO GET RID OF THE EGOTISTICAL MANIAC!"

Lux walked into the room, a big box in her arms. She opened it up and handed T-shirts to everyone except for Riven, who was now dressed in her armor and a pair of loose-fitting (but stylish) Noxian military pants to hide her curves.

"Hey!" Ashe complained. "Can I trade shirts with Leona?"

"... Go ahead, it's not that important." Lux responded, grabbing one for herself.

"Hey, Leona, trade shirts with me." The Freljordian prompted. Leona glanced at Ashe's, and then her own. "What's yours say?"

Ashe coughed. "_Love me Riley, LOVE ME!_"

Leona shrugged. "Sure."

The two swapped shirts and Ashe gaped at her new one. "_HAVE MY BABIES RILEY?!"_

The Solari smirked. "You should've asked me what mine said first."

Ashe glared at Lux. "Really, Blondie? You couldn't have come up with anything less embarrassing?!"

Lux giggled nervously. "I didn't have much time! And why does everybody call me Blondie?!"

"Quiet! I hear someone coming!" Caitlyn hissed, her shirt reading, "_MARRY ME RILEY!"_

Akali walked into the room, dragging something behind her. "Check out what I found in Lux's room, guys."

Ashe and Lux paled when they saw the thing.

"Uh… Lux? Why did you have an _altar_ in your room?" Caitlyn asked skeptically. Lux glanced at the empty spot on top of the altar which used to hold a box of Poro Snax. "Er… No reason…"

"Mhmm."

At that moment, they heard someone else coming from down the hallway, singing to himself: "Draaaaaaven is the best, Draaaaaaven is the awesomest…"

"QUICK! DRAG THE ALTAR OVER HERE!" Leona hissed, pointing to under the painting of the poro. The friends worked together and brought it under just as Draven entered the room.

The Noxian stopped, surprised, at the sight before him.

"..."

The girls glanced at him, and then at Riven, before remembering what they were supposed to do.

"Oh! Riley! Can I have your autograph?!" Lux squealed, thrusting a piece of paper into Riven's hands. The Exile blinked before quickly getting into character. "Oh, anything for my _adoring_ fans." She/he gushed, signing her signature off with a flourish. Leona, Akali, and Caitlyn immediately rushed forwards, as if clamoring to get an autograph as well. Ashe decided to confront Lux instead, jumping with excitement. "OMG! You got _Riley's_ autograph! OH MY GOSH!"

"YES! Isn't he sooo hot?!" Lux fangirled back.

Draven watched the scene with increasing rage. "WHAT. IS. THIS?!" He roared, and everybody turned towards him, Leona in the midst of getting her shield signed.

"Oh, look." Ashe drawled, looking very bored. "It's that axe-dude. What was his name, Drake?"

"No, I'm pretty sure it was uh… Darius. Wasn't it?" Caitlyn said, hugging her autograph to her chest.

Draven's face reddened. "DARIUS?! NO! I. AM. DRAAAAAAVEN!"

"Oh yeah! It was _Draven_." Lux conceded. "But _Draven_ is sooooo 5 minutes ago. _Riley_ is the new _in._ He's soooo dreamy." The mage sighed, batting her eyelashes at Riven, who smirked (gagging internally) and turned to Draven. "You heard the ladies. You are _so_ out."

Draven drew his axes. "DRAVEN IS NOT OUT! DRAVEN IS IN! DRAVEN IS THE BEST! DRAVEN WILL GIVE ALL OF YOU HIS AUTOGRAPH!"

Caitlyn yawned and placed her autograph on the altar. "You're just not cool anymore, Draven. You just don't cut it."

The Noxian seemed to grow larger with rage and jealousy. Roaring, he charged at Riven. "I CUT MANY THINGS! AND I WILL START WITH YOU!"

The Exile widened her eyes and leapt out of the way. '_THEY DON'T PAY ME ENOUGH!' _She thought, before remembering that she wasn't even getting paid.

Draven nearly crashed into the wall and the altar, instead slamming into the still-broken glass door that led into the kitchen. Glass flew everywhere. Bloodied and cut from the glass shards, Draven picked himself up off the ground and glared at Riven, and then the altar. "DRAVEN WILL BE WORSHIPPED TOO!" He cried, throwing an axe at Riven, who ducked and ran out of the mess hall, Draven following.

The rest of the girls just watched in blank silence. "Should we follow them?" Leona asked.

Caitlyn nodded. "Yeah, sure. Let's stay back though."

**5 minutes later…**

"WHERE IS HE?! WHERE IS THE USURPER?!" Draven boomed, standing in the middle of the library. He had just lost track of Riven, who was hiding behind one of the bookshelves.

"Shh! This is the _library!_" Shen hissed, looking up from his magazine. The Executioner glared at the Eye of Twilight and stalked off into the rows of bookshelves.

Riven had her back pressed against the non-fiction section when Draven rounded the corner and fixed his pale blue eyes on the Exile.

'_Oh no...'_ She thought, but Draven didn't attack her. Instead, he said, "You there! Girl! Have you seen a less awesome person come by?!"

Riven's mind blanked, and then she realized that Lux's spell must have worn off. '_OH THANK THE LORDS!' _She thought.

"Er… No. Did you mean Riley?" Riven asked with a poker face. Draven hissed at the name. "That is the less awesome person that Draven is talking about."

"Uh… He went… Back to… Noxus!" Riven lied, and Draven grinned evilly, not questioning how 'Riley' had gone from the library to Noxus in 5 seconds.

"Thank you. Draven is most pleased. In fact, Draven is so pleased, that he will grant you his autograph!" The Executioner presented Riven with a signed sheet of paper, holding it as if it were precious gold."

"Ah… No thank you. I am touched that you are… Willing… To part with your autograph, but I must refuse your generous offer." Riven said, hoping that he would leave soon.

"Nonsense! Such a devoted fan, I must insist!" Draven insisted. Riven sighed internally and took the autograph, hoping that if she did, he would leave. '_Will this stupid fuck PLEASE leave me alone?!'_ She thought angrily.

Draven blew her a kiss and tromped away.

A few minutes after he left, Caitlyn, Leona, Akali, Lux, and Ashe came rushing into the library, still in their shirts.

"YES! CAITLYN! WE DID IT!" Akali whooped, highfiving the Sheriff. Riven came out of the shelves of books, looking extremely tired, but pleased nonetheless. "I'm never doing that again, but at least we got rid of him." The Exile sighed, plopping onto a futon.

"WOO! YEAH! ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL PLAN!" Ashe cheered, hugging Lux.

"How many times do I have to tell you people?! This. Is. The. Library. QUIET!" Shen growled, looking up from his magazine again, a look of annoyance on his face. The annoyance quickly turned to confusion. "Ashe, who's Riley?"

Ashe looked down at her shirt. "Uh…"

**A/N: Thanks, all of you, for the continued feedback and support :3 :3.**

**The cameo this chapter was DRAVEN. My friends have been nagging me to do him since chapter 3, so will you PLEASE STOP NOW GUYS?! THANK YOU!**

**As promised, I will release the name of my other main (or, at least I think I promised). My other main is none other than miss Luxanna Crownguard, the Lady of Luminosity! As far as I know, only 1 person got both my mains correct. Congratulation, Disdun!**

**Now, I have started another fanfic with my friend Lostsoulmemories, and I won't be updating as quick as before. If you catch any mistakes, please let me know. Also, do you guys want me to post the new fanfic? It will most likely be starring: Akali, Ashe, Ahri, Katarina, and Shen, with some Shen x Akali in it. :3**

**LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT ME TO CAMEO ANYONE ELSE! **

**XOXO~Creator0fWords**


	9. Chapter 9: Demacians and Buckets

**Chapter 9: Demacians and Buckets**

"So then Draven walked around the corner and looked at me. I was so freaked, you know, when he came? I thought I was still a guy! But then he asked where Riley was, so I knew that Lux's spell must have worn off! The funny thing was, though, my voice also went back to normal too…" Riven trailed off, looking questioningly at Caitlyn. The 6 friends were eating dinner, having missed lunch getting rid of Sejuani and then Draven. In the same day.

"Hm… I didn't turn it off. It must have… AHA! Yeah, it ran out of battery!" Caitlyn exclaimed, checking a small remote. She'd had Riven swallow a small pill that would change her voice for 2 hours, tops. That was when it dissolved… (Without leaving harm, of course)

"I must have forgotten to charge it! Luckily!" The Sheriff of Piltover chuckled. Riven was relieved. "That turned out well… For once- HOLD ON DID YOU CHARGE THE PORTAL DISRUPTING ONE?!"

Ashe and Leona simultaneously stopped with a fork halfway to their mouths, while Lux nearly choked on her smoothie. Akali grabbed her butter knife and brandished it at Caitlyn, who gulped. "DID YOU FORGET, SHERIFF?!"

The Piltoverian paled. "I- I think I… Didn't charge it…"

Lux spit her drink out all over Riven, who didn't notice because she was too busy trying to strangle Caitlyn, who had wisely gotten out of her seat. Ashe lowered her cowl, ice blue eyes glinting dangerously as she stood up, and Leona handed the Frost Archer her sword again.

Akali was trying to restrain Riven.

"Let. Me. GO!" The Exile roared. "I DID NOT ALMOST DIE BY A PORO TO HAVE MY HARD WORK WASTED!"

Ashe was glaring at Caitlyn, who was trying to hold back laughter. Akali tightened her grip on Riven. "Hey! Calm do-OW! IF YOU DON'T STOP THAT I SWEAR THAT I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE BOOB!" Akali screamed as Riven started thrashing around in her grip.

"You asked for it!" The Kinkou ninja muttered and leveled a hard punch onto Riven's chest. The Exile crumpled to the ground, groaning in pain.

"Now. Explain yourself to the others, Caitlyn." Akali turned to Caitlyn, grabbing her butter knife again. "I know you were lying when you said you didn't charge the battery. It's the only reason you're still alive. I can move faster than Riven."

The Sheriff gulped, laughter gone. "Sheesh! I can't make a joke?! Gosh, you people." She muttered. Ashe lowered Leona's sword. "Don't make another joke about a serious matter again, do you hear me?" The Queen commanded, glaring icy arrows at the Piltoverian. Leona had sat back down to continue eating her steak, and Lux visibly relaxed, slumping into her seat with a big sigh of relief.

"Ok, ok!" Caitlyn exclaimed, holding her hands out in front of her as her companions sat back down to eat. Riven got up from the floor, muttering dark things under her breath and glaring at Akali and Caitlyn.

They resumed their seats and continued eating in strained silence, until Caitlyn finally broke it. "So uh… I have to leave at 7-" She never finished her sentence, as Ashe had nocked, drew, and launched an arrow by her head in a record 0.8 seconds. The Frost Archer's eyes blazed dangerously. "I thought I told you to not make jokes about serious things?" She said, voice dangerously cool.

The Sheriff's eyes widened. "I-I wasn't j-j-joking!" She stammered. "I actually h-have to g-g-g-go!"

Lux sighed. "Why do you guys have to keep leaving?"

**About 2 days later…**

"I actually can't believe that we got 2 days of peace and quiet!" Ashe exclaimed, coming out from Lux's bathroom. The friends had all had a slumber party the night before, in the Demacian's room.

Akali stretched and got out of her sleeping bag. "I know right! And nothing bad happened when we had a party this time!" The Ionian sighed contentedly. "Last time, Ezreal was trying to kill Leona, Ryze was trying to kill Shen, and Katarina got my donuts."

"Yeah… Speaking of which, where _is_ Katarina, anyway?" Leona wondered.

**Yesterday night…**

The bed was soft and familiar. Red curtains blocked some of the fading sunlight, but the rest fell over the assassins face. Katarina groaned at the splitting headache she had and sat up, grimacing in pain.

The door banged open, doing nothing to help the headache. "GOOD! YOU'RE AWAKE!" Cassiopeia bellowed, throwing open the curtains to show the sunset. Katarina hissed at the sudden light and dove off the bed, using it as a shield against the sunlight. Her sister scoffed. "Who are you, Vladimir? It's not even morning. Jeez. Now get up, we have a meeting in an hour."

The Sinister Blade blinked groggily. "M-meeting?" She croaked, throat dry. "W-what happened? Where am I…"

Slowly, she took in her surroundings. A bookshelf. An ebony door. King-sized bed with silk sheets and soft pillows. Targets on the ceiling and over her TV.

"What the… Is this my room?! Are we back in Noxus?!" The assassin leapt up. She was still wearing her clothes, her knives on the bedstand. Katarina quickly strapped them on, glaring at her sister for an explanation.

"Yesss." The Serpents Embrace hissed. "Talon had to knock you out; with his fists, _and_ drugs. You have quite a thick skull, sister."

Said sister snorted. "So I was dragged back for… A meeting?"

"Pretty much."

"So… If I was the only Noxian there, then who's there now?" Katarina asked. Noxus had insisted that there always be a Noxian at the Institute, to guard their section of the North Wing. And for information, of course. Cassiopeia shifted her tail. "That executioner, Draven."

Katarina stared at her sister for a minute and groaned. "Let's get this meeting over with quick, then."

**After the meeting…**

It was all the usual shit; how to attack the Demacians, how to attack the Ionians, how to conquer Valoran. Katarina had barely listened, instead plotting her own schemes. How to get rid of Sejuani. How to torture the Fist of Shadow. The best ways to dissect a human body on the Fields of Justice.

When the meeting was finally adjourned, Katarina had been confronted by Swain, the real reason she had been wanted back in Noxus. He'd questioned her, and finally asked if she was staying at the Institute for Snowdown, to which the Sinister Blade had said yes.

Swain had given her a new set of daggers as an early Snowdown gift.

The flabbergasted assassin had accepted the gift, just as the doors burst open.

"WHERE IS HE?! WHERE IS THE USURPER?!" Someone boomed, and all heads turned to the newcomer.

"Wha- who?" Somebody asked, and Draven turned to the unlucky bastard, fire in his eyes. "RILEY! I MUST KILL HIM!" The Executioner roared, turning around. He started searching around the Meeting Room, lifting chairs off the ground and checking behind tapestries as if someone were hiding there.

Katarina facepalmed. '_So… Now there are no Noxians there. GREAT.'_

"DARIUS! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE, NOW!" The Sinister Blade screeched. The Hand of Noxus came charging in. "What's the- oh." He groaned and slung his axe over his back again to handle his brother. Katarina turned to Swain. "I'm heading back. _Now_."

The Master Tactician nodded mutely.

**Back to the present… **

"I don't give a shit, as long as she doesn't steal my donuts again." Akali muttered darkly. Everyone agreed, and got dressed for the day. They wandered as a group down to the mess hall and got their breakfast.

"Oh! Guys!" Lux squealed excitedly once they had seated themselves with their food. "Guess what?"

"... You're dating Ezreal?" Leona guessed.

"You lost your virginity?!" Akali gasped.

"I ALWAYS KNEW YOU HAD A SECRET BOYFRIEND!" Ashe squealed.

Lux sighed. "Why do you assume it's about my love life?!"

Leona gasped. "So you _do_ have a love life!"

The Demacian mage reddened. "Wha- what no! I mean… Yes! I mean- oh my goodness I will just tell you what happened…"

"Please do." Akali said expectantly.

"Garen is visiting!" The Lady of Luminosity cried, throwing her hands up in exasperation. Ashe chewed thoughtfully on her waffle. "I see… I see…"

The Fist of Shadow slammed her fist onto the table. "Garen? Ok then. I left my kama's in your room, Lux, I will be right back."

Lux didn't like the sound of that, but stood up anyway. "... I will accompany you, then."

'_Just in case you run into my brother and try to kill him or whatever you plan to do with those kama's of yours.' _the mage thought to herself, getting up and following the Ionian ninja out of the mess hall and into the East Wing.

**Meanwhile…**

'_Where is that Ionian… Hmmm…" _The Sinister Blade wondered as she stepped into the Institute. After all, she'd never finished with her last time.

As the Noxian prepared to head to her room, she saw two figures slip out of the mess hall.

Lux and Akali.

The assassin quickly hid in the ceiling rafters (as usual) and followed the two friends into the East Wing.

They walked into a room, Lux waiting outside while Akali went to get something.

Katarina smiled evilly to herself. '_That must be the Ionians room!'_

The assassin waited until they walked back out and into the mess hall. She would ambush Akali later.

**Later…**

Katarina peeked into the hallway just as the door closed and grinned deviously to herself. Time for some fun.

She strode quickly in front of her target's door and teleported inside, right on top of the surprised occupant who was lying on the bed.

"Akali~" Katarina purred, eyes closed and a Cheshire cat grin spreading across her beautiful face.

"K-Kat… Arina?" Lux gasped in shock. The Noxian's eyes flew open to see not terrified brown eyes, but startled blue ones. She frowned. "Blondie?"

Someone knocked at the door and Lux opened her mouth to call for help. Noticing this, Katarina slapped a hand over the Demacian's mouth and glared at her. "Not a sound. Do you hear me?" She hissed. Lux bobbed her head once in confirmation when she saw Katarina reach for her belt. The knocking stopped. And then the door burst open.

"LUX! I KNOW YOU'RE- what the hell?" A confused voice came from the destroyed door.

The girls turned their heads to see Garen, standing in the doorway, eyes wide in horror and realization.

"It's not what it looks like!" Katarina blurted out, trying to think about what it would look like from the Might of Demacia's eyes. '_A Noxian lying on top of his sister, in her bedroom, on her bed, not answering her door… OH. '_

"GAREN! HELP ME!" Lux screamed, pushing a startled Katarina off of her petite body. She ran to her shocked brother and hid behind him. The Sinister Blade looked at them and scoffed. "I- that wasn't… Fuck all of you!" She hissed and teleported behind them, running back down the hallway.

"W-wait!" Garen called, taking off after the Noxian assassin. Lux watched her brother chase after a renowned Noxian assassin and moved to follow, but something caught her eye. The Lady of Luminosity turned her eyes back into her room to see her calendar flashing, alerting her to something. '_Oh! I must have had something planned for today!' _She thought, crossing the room.

On todays date was scrawled: PREMIERE OF SEASON 3 OF THE TALES OF THE PORO KING

"OH GOODY!" Lux squealed, jumping up and down, all thoughts of her brother and Katarina vanishing.

**Down the hall… **

Seeing him coming, Katarina quickly ducked around a potted plant and into a supply closet, closing the door and breathing a sigh of relief. '_What the fuck does that oaf want?' _She wondered, and decided that she didn't care.

The door opened and Katarina froze in shock, back against the wall, as Garen shut the door. The Demacian's face was shrouded in shadow as he growled. "Katarina. What were you doing in Lux's room?"

The Noxian wasn't dumb. She knew that in this situation, Garen had the upper hand. His massive body blocked her exit, and she couldn't teleport outside if the door was closed; who knew what was out there? His broadsword could cleave her in half in the small room with one swing, and her daggers wouldn't do as much damage without sufficient room for them to build velocity.

"Is that any of your business?" Katarina put on an indifferent face as Garen flicked on the light switch. His blue eyes flashed as he asked again, more forcefully this time. " What were you doing in my sister's room?"

The Sinister Blade reached for a dagger on her hip. "What did it look like?" She taunted. What he said next completely surprised her.

"You know, if you wanted to find me, you could've found a better approach." Garen stated.

Katarina was stunned. '_Is this bitch serious?'_

He looked serious. There was not a trace of amusement or mirth on his face. Damn.

"Find… _You?"_ She asked incredulously. The Demacian came closer.

"Yeah. I mean, why else would you be in there?" He laughed. "It's impossible for you to have a thing for my sister."

The Noxian assassin was completely baffled with the turn of events. But her wits remained sharp. '_I can use this to my advantage somehow… Right? I need to incapacitate him to escape… But how…'_

Her jade eyes landed on a big bucket by her foot. She judged the size of it to Garen's head. '_Hm. It might be too small for his fat head.'_

"Uh… Of course not. I don't have a thing for _that_ Crownguard." Katarina made sure to emphasize the word _that,_ hoping that the blunt soldier would get her double meaning.

He blinked. "You… I…"

Katarina batted her eyelashes seductively and crossed to Garen, placing a hand on his chest. "You what~?" She purred, internally gagging at what she was doing. '_Only the strong survive… Even if that means… Ew, I'm not even going to fucking think about it.'_

"I-I-I… You smell nice." He stammered, and Katarina frowned. '_What the fuck?!'_

"Uh… Thanks?" She muttered. Here goes nothing.

She stood on her tiptoes and firmly pressed her closed lips against Garen's.

The Demacian's mind immediately went blank and his senses started going haywire. '_What- WHAT? OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING?!'_ He screamed in his head, his arms going around the redhead and pushing her against the wall. A small corner of his brain was ringing alarm bells at the sudden assault, but he pushed the feeling down.

Katarina felt absolutely disgusted, but she knew that she had managed to incapacitate the Demacian. Sliding a little down the wall, she grabbed onto the bucket with a hand and broke the kiss. Garen looked dazed and the Sinister Blade smiled sadistically. "Bye bye~" She drawled and crammed the bucket onto the Might of Demacia's head.

"MMM!" He screamed, voice reverberating because of the metal on his head. Katarina slipped out the door and quickly made it to her room.

**A little bit later…**

Ashe sighed. "I knew the peace and quiet wouldn't last another day."

The muffled screaming noises from the supply closet had been heard by the Frost Archer, on her way to her room. She'd opened it and found the Might of Demacia lying on the floor, trying to pry a bucket off his head. Needless to say, she was surprised.

"HEY! LUX!" She yelled down the hallway. Lux opened her door. "WHAT?" She screamed back.

"IT'S YOUR BROTHER!" Ashe shouted, and Lux came charging out of her room towards the Frost Archer.

"What happened?" The mage asked. Wordlessly, the Freljordian pointed into the supply closet.

"Are. You. Serious?" Lux sighed. "I had to interrupt my marathoning of Season 3 of _The Tales of The Poro King _because my brother got his head stuck in a _bucket?!"_

Ashe shot a glare at her friend. "YOU WERE MARATHONING SEASON 3 WITHOUT ME?!"

Lux shifted nervously. "Uh… Maybe?"

**A/N: Whoa, that took a long time for me to write. Don't you just hate writers block? This was like, what, 5 days without updating?! UNACCEPTABLE! :O **

**Cameo: Garen, requested by Elsa the frost archer! Hope you enjoyed ;) **

**As always, thank you for the follows, favs, and reviews! They give me the motivation to keep writing this story :) So who's gonna be the next cameo? **

**XOXO~ Creator0fWords**


	10. Chapter 10: Blind Dates and Blackmail

**Chapter 10: Blind Dates and Blackmail**

"Ok… This bucket is stuck on _tight_!" Lux complained, falling to the floor after trying to pry the bucket off her brother's head for the twentieth time.

"Mah hee urtz!" Came the muffled reply from the bucket. Ashe leaned closer. "What?"

"MY HEAD HURTS!" Garen yelled, wincing in pain as the sound reverberated through the metal.

"Ugh. We can't get it off!" Ashe complained. "How did this even happen?!"

Lux rubbed her head. "Katarina, I think. I mean, she tried to rape me and then Garen came in-"

"HOLD UP!" The Frost Archer yelped. "Did you just say that Katarina tried to _rape_ you?!"

"Yeah… I think I did." Lux answered. Ashe stared at her, wide-eyed. "Why?"

The light mage pondered this for a second and then shrugged. "She called me Akali. I think she was trying to- HOLY SHIT! SHE WANTED TO RAPE AKALI!" Lux sprang out the door. "I HAVE TO WARN HER!"

The archer watched her go, confused. Lux rarely ever swore. And she forgot about her brother's dilemma in 20 seconds. '_That girl is a real piece of work...'_

Ashe debated on how to help her friend's brother. '_Maybe I should go fetch Soraka…?'_

But to get help, she needed the full story. Ashe knocked on the bucket. "Hey, Garen. How did you end up in the bucket?"

**The infirmary**

"Mmm… Just like that… Harder…" The woman breathed as Soraka obeyed.

The door opened. "SORA- What the… Irelia?" A confused Ashe asked from the doorway.

A half-naked Irelia raised her head. "Oh, hi Ashe." Only a towel covered Irelia's lower half, and she was lying face-down on a padded table. Soraka stood above her, wiping her hands on a towel. "How can I help you, Ashe?" The Starchild asked. The archer frowned. "What… Are you doing?"

"What's it look like? She's giving me a massage!" Irelia explained, sitting up and grabbing her clothes. "I think that's enough for today, Soraka. Thanks!"

"Anytime." Soraka smiled.

"... So uh, Soraka." Ashe said awkwardly. "I need your help. Garen… Got his head stuck in a bucket." She left out Katarina's part in it, as it would only lead to more questions, which she didn't need at the moment.

Soraka merely raised an eyebrow. "You can't get him out?"

"Nope."

Irelia finished dressing and stretched. "May I ask how the Might of Demacia got his head stuck in a _bucket_?"

Or maybe she _would_ need to mention Katarina's role…

**About 5 minutes later…**

Ashe had mentally applauded Katarina's extreme tactics when Garen had told her the story. She was sure that Lux would've facepalmed, and that Irelia would have a similar reaction to Lux. She was right.

"Wow." Irelia breathed when Ashe finished telling them the story. "Garen actually _told _you that?"

"He's a soldier; a Demacian soldier. I don't think he feels the shame." The Frost Archer replied. "Anyways, we still need to get the bucket off his head…"

Soraka shook her head. "Sorry, I don't think there's anything that I could do. I could shrink his head, but that could leave some… _Permanent_ side effects."

Ashe sighed. "That wouldn't work." The archer paced around the room and eyed something lying under Soraka's desk. "Soraka… Is that a chainsaw?!"

The Starchild fixed a neutral look on her face. "No… It's a uh… Ionian medical tool… thingy…" She made up, as Ashe narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Soraka.

Irelia snapped her fingers, her magical four-pronged blade twirling in excitement. "I have an idea!"

Wary of ideas now, thanks to Caitlyn, Ashe slowly turned her head to the Will of Blades, Soraka's suspicious attitude forgotten. "You do?"

The Ionian smiled. "I can probably cut the metal off his head!" Her weapon spun around a couple times, as if to prove her point (no pun intended).

The Freljordian knew it was a terrible idea.

**The North Wing…**

'_Psssh. Demacians are so easy to manipulate.'_ Katarina thought gleefully, flinging a dagger into her ceiling and summoning it back to her fingertips. She chucked it at a target above her fireplace, which was a mere placeholder until she could find someone's head to display.

The Noxian stretched, bored. '_I still never found my plaything…!' _She realized, opening her door. "I will find her! And this time, nothing will stop me." She said out loud, grinning deviously.

Poor Akali.

**The East Wing…**

"Ok… Just hold still, Garen." Ashe said, kneeling by the soldiers head. It bobbed once in confirmation, not knowing what was about to happen.

Irelia cracked her knuckles and let out a deep breath. "Let's do this!"

Her blade rushed through the air, cutting off the top of the bucket and shaving off a little bit of Garen's hair. He was confused as to what had just happened, but held still.

The next one sheared down the back of the bucket, a sizable amount of Garen's hair coming off. Combined with the 'haircut' on the top, it made his hair look square from the back. Irelia and Ashe both had to contain a small giggle.

"Ok, I think you can pry it off now." The Ionian said, and Ashe walked back around to Garen's front. With the help of the trapped Demacian and the Will of Blades (and the Will of Blade's blades), they managed to pry the remaining portion of the bucket off.

Garen gasped, face red, as he finally managed to inhale air that wasn't tainted by the rusty metal prison, eagerly letting the oxygen into his lungs like after a particularly exhausting fight.

"T-thanks!" He panted, standing up and giving the ladies a grateful smile. Irelia smiled back, and Ashe shrugged. "No problem. It wouldn't be awfully Queen-like of me to just leave you there, now would it?" The archer teased. Garen nodded. "No. But it wasn't very soldier-like of me to leave my guard down and get incapacitated like that."

Irelia squinted at him. "Was that a joke?"

Garen looked confused. "Joke?" He repeated, scratching his head. "No, I don't think so. But please excuse me, I must go find Ka- I mean, my sister." Garen smiled, nodded, and walked away, leaving two confused women.

"... How Lux and him are related, I will never know." Ashe stated. "But anyways… Thanks, Irelia. Is there any way to repay you?"

Although technically it wasn't _Ashe's_ head that was stuck in the bucket, she still felt grateful for the Ionian's help.

Irelia leaned against a wall and eyed the mutilated bucket. "Hmm… Well… I kinda had a uh, bet, with Leona…"

**Flashback to earlier that day…**

Irelia opened the doors to the Institute, suitcase in hand. She smiled to herself. Ionia was lovely, but the Institute would be more fun, especially with only champions and no summoners. Just like last Snowdown…

Lost in her memories, the Ionian didn't notice another person until they were right in front of her.

"What's up with the smile, Irelia?"

The Will of Blades started back to the present to see Leona in front of her, a mischievous smile on her fair face.

"N-nothing. I was just thinking of last Snowdown…" Irelia answered, walking into the building. Leona followed her. "Last Snowdown? You mean, when you kissed-"

"Shut up, Sunshine." The Will of Blades whirled to face the Solari, eyes dangerous and weapon spinning close to Leona, who looked surprised. "Whoa there, calm down, Irelia…"

The blade moved closer. "Don't speak of that." Irelia hissed. Sensing her imminent doom, Leona knew there was only one thing to do to distract Irelia.

She laughed.

The Will of Blades raised an eyebrow, and her father's weapon lowered a couple inches. "Leona? Are you… Ok?"

The Radiant Dawn wiped a tear away from her eye. "Oh, yeah!" She guffawed. "Just dandy! HAHAHA!"

Irelia looked seriously concerned, which only made Leona laugh harder. When she finally calmed down, face red and gasping for air, Irelia just stood there, as if afraid that the Solari would go crazy again.

A big grin lit Leona's face. "With an attitude like that, no wonder it's so hard for you to get a date!"

This time, the Ionian reddened. "I-I-"

"No really, how did you get them to agree? I bet that you can't get anyone else to agree to go on a date with you!"

The Will of Blades sniffed. "What I did is none of your business. As for your bet, I will prove you wrong!"

**Back to the present…**

"Really? You made a bet with _Leona_? Oh jeez…" Ashe muttered. "Let me guess… You want me to set you up on a date with someone?"

Irelia shifted her feet nervously. "Yeah, I guess… Do you know anyone?" She eyed the archer hopefully.

"That depends… Anyone in particular?"

Irelia shook her head.

"What do you want them to be like? Kind, smart, handsome, etc?" Ashe was stalling at this point. She didn't know anyone that she could set up with Irelia. The Freljordian was going to tell her that, but then…

Irelia's eyes unfocused. "Someone mysterious and handsome. Maybe with light hair? Like, light blonde or silver or like yours…" She flicked a strand of Ashe's white hair. "Someone smart and like the strong, silent type. And mysterious. Did I mention mysterious? But also handsome. Did I mention handsome? And what about light hair-"

Ashe slapped a hand over Irelia's mouth to prevent her from going on further. "Ok, I think I know a person. But can I ask you another favour as well…?"

The person she had in mind was _not_ going to be happy.

**Meanwhile…**

"AKALI!" Lux shouted, barging into the bathhouse. Her eyes widened. "Oops! Sorry!"

Riven glared back at her, a towel wrapped around her lean figure. "Close the door."

Lux shut the door and backed away from it… Right into someone. She closed her eyes. silently praying. '_Please let that not be Katarina, please let that not be Katarina...'_

"Were you looking for me?" Akali asked, pushing Lux away from her body. The mage sighed in relief at the person not being an angry assassin. "Yeah, but I forgot what I was going to say…"

Akali looked amused. "Ok then, let's head back into the Institute."

Lux nodded and the two walked back. "How did you know I was looking for you?"

"Good hearing… And you weren't exactly quiet…"

"Oh…"

Lux racked her brains. What was it that she wanted to warn Akali about? Hmm…

She went backwards over her memories. '_Finding Garen with a bucket on his head… Ashe hitting me for marathoning without her… Marathoning season 3… Garen showing up at my door… Katarina appearing on top of me- OH!' _

"Right! Akali! I remembered!" Lux exclaimed as they walked by the mess hall. "Kat-"

She didn't finish her sentence. Having been thinking so hard, Lux hadn't noticed that there was a wall right in front of her, and walked right into it with a big _THUMP!_

Akali stopped walking and reached over to help her friend get up. "You ok, Lux?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine!" The mage laughed. "How stupid of me! As I was saying, just watch out. Katarina is… Looking for you."

Akali nodded. "Thanks, Lux. I'll keep an eye out."

She continued walking for a bit before realizing that Akali wasn't with her anymore. The Demacian shrugged. Akali did this a lot, so she wasn't worried.

**Above her…**

Akali struggled futilely, trying to hit her assailant. There was only one person who could, and would, teleport them to the ceiling rafters.

"Aww, Akali~" Katarina purred. "Stop struggling. You'll only make it _worse~_"

**The bathhouse…**

Riven clambered out of the water and wrapped the towel around herself again. She walked towards her clothing, feeling relaxed and peaceful. '_Nothing can ruin my mood now!'_ The Exile thought, pulling on her armour.

And then the door opened.

"Riven. I need your help." Ashe said.

The Exile looked up in surprise. "How'd you know I was here?"

Lux poked her head around the doorway. "Hi again, Riven! Sorry about the last time… Hehehe…" The mage laughed awkwardly. Riven blinked. "Sure, it's ok. It happens…?" She trailed off with a question, curious as to why they were here. A few minutes passed in silence. "What do you guys need?" The Exile finally asked. Ashe cleared her throat. "We need you to be a guy again."

Riven's eyes widened as she tightened the last strap on her armour. "NO! NO! NEVER AGAIN!" The Exile grabbed her sword and barreled past Ashe and Lux, out the door.

And then she realized her mistake.

"HIYA!" Lux threw a snare at her, and Riven didn't dodge quite in time.

'_I should've stayed in the violence-free bathhouse! UGH!' _Riven complained as a cage of light surrounded her.

"Just hear us out, Riven." Ashe pleaded as she came nearer. The Exile waited for the cage to dissipate and tried to run again, only to find her movements turn sluggish. The ground seemed distorted. "DAMN IT, LUX!" She roared. "LET ME RUN AWAY FROM YOU GUYS IN PEACE!"

"Neeveerrr!" Lux chirped back, rooting Riven in place again.

"Riven, if you don't help us, I swear to Avarosa that I will tell Draven about you being Riley!" Ashe desperately yelled.

The Exile froze. Draven wasn't that scary, even, but an _angry_ Draven… Even an ex-Noxian such as herself knew that wasn't something that she wanted to handle.

"You wouldn't!" Riven exclaimed, without much conviction. She knew that Ashe would do it.

**The next evening…**

"H-hi!" Irelia stood up, face red, as she greeted her 'date'. '_Oh my gosh… He's so handsome!'_

Riven/Riley managed a smile. "Good evening." She/he said, voice deep after breaking into Caitlyn's room and stealing a batch of the voice-altering pills.

They sat down, on opposite sides of the table. Irelia was wearing a red Ionian dress with heels, and Riven had on the same outfit she'd worn to trick Draven. Her friends had advised her not to wear a tux, as Lux said that it would be difficult to disguise her physique. The armour had seemed formal enough, given the false background that Ashe had provided.

Riley, age 22, single, from the Avarosan tribe. Ashe had said that 'he' was one of her best fighters. Being the leader of the tribe, it was easy to come up with this lie. The Queen had told Irelia that Riley had been training with a sword master in the nearby area, and suggested that Riven not bring her too-conspicuous sword to the restaurant.

The waiter came as soon as they sat down, bringing with him two menu's. Irelia had only just got there as well.

The Ionian ordered the special, and Riven ordered a steak.

Once the male waiter left, Riven decided to make some small talk. Lux and Ashe were in the restaurant as well, watching her every move. And listening, as well.

Stupid Piltoverian listening devices.

"The waiter was totally checking you out. And I think he likes you." Riven winked, and Irelia laughed. "No way!"

The waiter came back with drinks. "Here you go, enjoy." He said. Irelia was confused. "We didn't order any drinks."

The waiter, whose nametag read _Allen_, smiled. "It's on the house."

He left, and Irelia raised an eyebrow at Riley. "I guess you're right!"

They both laughed.

"So, where are you from?" Riven asked, remembering that her character didn't know anything about Irelia.

"Ionia. I'm head of the Ionian Guard." She blushed.

Riley smirked. "Really? You must be quite the girl. League champion, head of the Ionian Guard…"

Irelia felt embarrassed, for some strange reason. "Well… Enough about me, what about you!" She mumbled, and Riven laughed. It was kind of fun, actually, to see the normally stoic Irelia squirm under her gaze.

"Well, let's see. I'm an E-" Riven froze. She'd almost slipped and said Exile!

"I'm an Avarosan, under the leadership of Queen Ashe, her best fighter, and I'm trying to learn Noxian sword techniques!"

Irelia raised an eyebrow. "Why Noxian?"

Riven brightened. Fighting and sword techniques were something she knew well!

**Meanwhile, in the same restaurant…**

Leona had followed Irelia to her date, just to see if she was lying.

Apparently not.

The Solari was surprised that the Ionian had found a date so quickly. '_She definitely surprised me..!'_

When the silver-haired guy had walked up to Irelia, Leona had found something familiar about his features, and his clothes, but she just couldn't quite put her finger on it…

'_Never mind that.'_ Leona thought, sipping her wine. '_It'll come to me...'_

**A couple tables over…**

"This is working out well!" Lux laughed, and took another bite of her chicken. Both she and Ashe had a little earpiece clipped onto their ear, and they could both hear the conversation that Irelia and Riven were having. The food had arrived for them, and the two were talking animatedly and laughing.

"Yeah! If I didn't know better, I'd think that Riven actually _likes_ Irelia. Like, _like_ her. In that way." Ashe giggled.

"Whoa girl, I don't think… Yeah actually you're right." Lux laughed. Then her eyes caught on someone. "Wait… Is that Leona?"

Ashe paled. "Shit! If she recognizes Riven…"

They both turned to look at Leona, who was staring at Irelia and Riven with a puzzled look on her face, as if trying to figure something out.

"We have to distract her…!" Lux whispered, as if Leona could somehow hear them over the dozens of other talking and laughing patrons. From a couple tables away.

"Wait! Lux!" Ashe hissed as Lux got up and walked towards Leona.

'_This is bad… If she puts Lux's presence together with Riven...' _

The Frost Archer leapt up and grabbed the Demacian light mage's arm. "Stop! I'll do it!"

Lux sat back down and watched Ashe make her way over to Leona. "Hey, Leona! Fancy seeing you here!" The archer called, as if seeing her for the first time that night. Leona tore her gaze away from Irelia and Riven. A smiled appeared on her face. "Hey, Ashe."

Ashe sat down across from Leona, who leaned towards her. "Does that guy seem… Familiar to you?" She was pointing at Riven. '_Crap! At least she hasn't figured it out yet…!'_ Ashe thought, panicked.

"Eh… Not that I know of. Actually, yeah… Now that I think about it…" She said. Leona nodded her head. "Yeah, I know right. I just can't quite put my finger on it, though. It's starting to hurt my head!" She laughed. So did Ashe… Until she saw someone walk in.

Ashe locked eyes with Lux from across the room, mouthing, '_TROUBLE!'_

"Is that… Draven?" Leona squinted at the newcomer.

Ashe gulped. "Yup…"

**Authors Note: **

**Cameo: Irelia, requested by angels123! Hope you liked it, buddy :) **

**So, some cameo's 100% won't work, such as the ones forced to fight for the League. So sorry, no Brand, no Fiddlesticks, and I don't know who else was forced… **

**I'm sorry as well if some of the characters seem OOC, it's the way I envision them and it may not match up with the lores. **

**IM ALSO SO SORRY THAT IT ISN'T AS FUNNY AS BEFORE (I cri) because writers block absolutely SUCKS! I'm starting to run out of ideas for the story! But let's hope for the best, eh? As always, THANK YOU FOR the favs, follows, and reviews! :D**

**XOXO~Creator0fWords**


	11. Chapter 11: Victims and Noxians

**Chapter 11: Victims And Noxians **

Riven spotted Draven at the same time as Irelia. The Ionian frowned. "Hey, isn't that Darius?" She stabbed a fork into a vegetable. "Hate that guy."

Riven forced out a laugh. "That's Draven, Darius's brother. Although he's more annoying." She shivered, recalling the time when she'd had to pretend to be a guy to lure him out. '_Good thing I'm not a guy right n- OH SHIT!'_

She was a guy right now.

"I uh, have to use the washroom. I'll be right back!" Riven got up from the table and made a beeline for the restrooms… Where she ran into another dilemma.

'_Do I use the male washroom or the female washroom?!' _

Seeing that she currently looked like a guy, the Exile pushed open the door to the mens washroom. And then realized that she couldn't actually _use_ the urinals in it.

'_...I'm not actually a guy… Ok, I'll just wash my hands then!'_

As the disguised female turned the tap on, hoping that no one came in, the door swung open. She froze, praying that it wasn't Draven…

Sneaking a peek into the mirror, she saw that it wasn't Draven. It was…

Xin Zhao?

The Seneschal of Demacia didn't seem to notice her; he was preoccupied with a neon pink bag, rummaging through the contents and muttering to himself. "Princess Snugglebums, General Fluffy, or Major Snuffles? Or does he like Princess Fuzzypaws… I know that Garen is getting him Blossomhorn…"

"..."

'_I think I should go now...' _Riven thought. Just as she reached the door, Xin Zhao snapped his head up and looked at her. "'Scuse me, may I ask a favour of you?"

"Err… Sure?" Riven said, cautiously walking over to Xin Zhao. The Demacian looked relieved. "Can you help me pick one of these out?"

The bag held stuffed plushies of various poro's. He looked slightly embarrassed to be in possession of these.

"What do you need these for?" The Exile asked, utterly confused. The Seneschal picked up General Fluffy. "My liege is throwing a party today, and he has been _dying _to add these limited edition, talking poro's to his collection! I know that Garen is getting him Blossomhorn, so which should I give?" He squeezed Princess Snugglebums to demonstrate her talking ability. "_My knight! You have returned to me!"_

His liege? _Jarvan IV? _Oh jeez...

"..."

"..."

"Can't you just give him all of them?"

Xin Zhao let out a _huge_ breath. "That's a great idea! Thank you, er…"

"Riley." She said automatically.

"Thank you, Riley!" Xin Zhao beamed. "I owe you one! And please don't tell anyone!"

He rushed out of the restroom, the pink bag hidden behind his broad back.

'_Well that was weird.' _Riven thought, heading after him.

Draven was nowhere in sight when Riven walked back to her table. Irelia looked up at her. "Do you know Draven? Like, personally?"

The Exile was confused. "No, why?"

"He came up to me and asked if I knew you; or more accurately, asked about a 'usurper'? And then he gave me his autograph…" The Will of Blades held up a piece of paper with Draven's picture on it and a line on the bottom that read, '_You'll never be as awesome as me, but you can hope!'_

Riven almost gagged.

**A couple tables away…**

"Hey, isn't that my brother?" Lux wondered out loud, glancing at the corner table. Sure enough, her Garen was sitting with Jarvan IV and Xin Zhao. The three seemed excited over something, and Jarvan kept polishing his commando shades. And _blushing._

The Lady of Luminosity got up, quickly looking over at Leona and Ashe. The Frost Archer had managed to distract the other woman, and Lux snuck behind her brother.

"Hi."

Garen jumped, and then laughed. "Luxanna! Don't scare me like that! I thought-"

"That I was Katarina?" The mage smirked, crossing her arms and sticking her tongue out. Garen raised an eyebrow. "No, I thought that you were the waiter. Or waitress… The food _still_ hasn't arrived yet!"

Jarvan cleared his throat, discreetly shoving something underneath his seat. "Lady Luxanna, you have _finally_ decided to grace us with your presence."

Lux was confused with his wording. "What do you mean? I saw you last week, before Snowdown break!"

The Exemplar of Demacia sighed. "Why does everyone forget?!"

Xin Zhao patted his back. "It's alright, Jarvan. We didn't forget!" He smiled, motioning to himself and Garen, who was looking around the restaurant, glaring at other peoples food.

Jarvan nodded. "Yeah. But if you didn't come here for my birthday, Lux, what are you doing here?"

Lux frowned. "Your… Birthday? But…" The mage whipped out her baton and summoned her calendar. Her eyes roved down and she froze.

Underneath the _huge_ block letters that reminded her about season 3 of _The Tales of the Poro King,_ was a reminder. '_Jarvan's b-day tomorrow! DON'T FORGET!'_

Looks like she'd been too pre-occupied with the first announcement; and somehow decided to not put the reminder on the actual _day_ of his birthday.

"Ahh… I did have it written down…" Lux muttered sheepishly. Jarvan stood up and looked over Lux's shoulder at her calendar. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "SEASON 3 STARTED ALREADY?! I THOUGHT THAT WAS NEXT WEEK!_"_ He yelled, much to the annoyance of the other patrons. Ashe and Leona glanced over briefly, Riven and Irelia both raised an eyebrow, and Xin Zhao fingered the pink bag that he had yet to give his liege.

"You… _You_ watch it too?!" Lux gasped, turning to her prince in astonishment.

It was going to be an interesting evening.

**Back to Riven…**

"What was _that_ all about?" Irelia wondered, sneaking another glance at Jarvan IV. "I've never seen Jarvan that excited about… Anything!"

Riven laughed. "Tell me about it! He actually looked _mad_ when he got a pentakill in that Demacia vs. Bandle City match 2 weeks ago!"

Irelia looked confused. "Wait, how do you know about that?"

'_Oops...' _Riven thought. "Er… It was broadcasted…"

The Will of Blades still looked suspicious. "It was?"

It wasn't, and Riven knew that. She'd been in the game, after all. As a substitution for Bandle City. One of Teemo's mushrooms had taken out half of his Yordle buddies earlier that day, while he'd been practicing.

Ah, memories.

"It wasn't a live broadcast." Riven fibbed. Irelia looked like she was about to argue, but then the expression on the Ionian's face changed. "Riley?" She whispered, gaze fixed on something over Riven's shoulder.

"Yeah?" She replied, turning around. "What's the- HI?"

Oh boy.

"Hello, usurper." Draven replied cooly. "Goodbye, usurper."

**Back to Ashe and Leona…**

Ashe saw Draven walk behind Riven; and boy, did he look _angry!_ And kind of excited. But mostly angry- oh, wait, now he looks excited.

"Shit!" Ashe muttered. Leona frowned. "What's up with Draven?"

And then she put it together.

Draven's angry look. The familiar white-haired guy.

The _blind date._

A crystallized arrow soared across the restaurant and exploded upon impact against Draven, freezing the executioner in place with one hand inches away from Riven, who looked shocked. Her eyes met with Ashe's.

"RUN, RILEY!" The Queen screeched, cursing as she waited for enough magic to return to fire another arrow. Draven was starting to thaw already.  
>Riven quickly got out of her seat, flung down some money on the table while apologizing to a flabbergasted Irelia, and sprinted out of the restaurant.<p>

She didn't make it far.

Darius walked back into the establishment, Riven hanging by her collar.

The waiters, seeing that there were champions in the restaurant; _angry_ champions in the restaurant, quickly started evacuating the patrons out through the staff doors. They had some difficulty, as one old man refused to leave the restaurant without his daughter. When the waiters told him that there were no other girls in the restaurant (apart from the champions), he started jumping up and down like a 2-year old. Finally, one of the waiters had to go back to his table to look for his daughter; he came back with a rubber duck. The old man took it and contentedly walked out the door, stroking its rubber plumage and muttering, "You're safe now, Isabella. Come, let us go find your sisters!"

In the chaos, Lux finally realized what was going on, at the same time as Xin Zhao, Garen, and Jarvan IV.

"HEY! Put the man down, Darius!" Xin Zhao brandished his spear at the Noxian. "No one harms my friends!"

The Exile rolled her eyes. All it took was one bathroom excursion to be his friend?

Darius smirked. "Gladly."

He flung Riven across the room, and she smashed into a potted plant with a loud CRASH!

As the Hand of Noxus tried to run to his brothers aid, he was stopped in his tracks by a cage of light. Draven was trapped too, and he did _not_ look happy about that.

Irelia had gotten out of her seat and run over to Ashe. "Ok, I don't know what the _fuck_ is happening, all I know is that my date just got flung into a wall by Darius and that his brother was trying to kill him. SO WHAT IS HAPPENING?!" Irelia grabbed Ashe by the shoulders and shook her.

Leona stepped in, pushing the Will of Blades off of Ashe. The Frost Archer staggered a few steps. "Ok, I'll tell you later!" She panted. " But right now we need to help Riv- I mean, Riley, and get rid of Darius and Draven!"

Lux fired another cage of light as she made her way over to the other girls. "How will we get rid of them?!"

The spell wore off and the brothers started towards Riven's unmoving body, only to be stopped by 3 Demacians.

"I don't know what is happening, but I'm standing with Xin Zhao!" Jarvan declared, his lance leveled at the Noxians. Garen nodded assent, sword ready. Xin Zhao smiled at his friends. "Thanks guys!" He said, and then glared at Darius. "Let's kick some ass!"

While the males fought, Lux, Irelia, Leona, and Ashe tried to come up with a plan. Well, more like Lux and Ashe came up with a plan while Irelia watched and Leona paced.

"We need to fight fire with fire… " Ashe mused.

"A Noxian with a Noxian…" Lux added.

They met eyes. "We need another Noxian!" They said simultaneously, the same idea in both their heads.

"We need Katarina."

**Back at the Institute…**

The Sheriff of Piltover walked down the hallway of the West Wing, her suitcase dragging along behind her. Digging her key out of her pocket, Caitlyn opened her door and stepped inside, flicking on the lights and throwing the suitcase into her open closet. She sighed in relief as she flopped onto her couch, the days travels already behind her.

Something, or someone, started pounding on her door. Caitlyn groaned. "What?"

"I know you're in there, Sheriff." Came the muffled reply. "NOW OPEN THE GODDAMNED DOOR!"

The brunette heaved herself off the couch and slumped over to the door. The second it opened, a certain redhead had her pinned against the opposite wall by her throat. Caitlyn started gasping for air, and Katarina loosened her grip slightly. Very slightly.

"Where are your handcuffs, Sheriff?" The assassin hissed.

"Mmmm *gasp* mmmm!" Caitlyn replied, still unable to speak. The hold on her windpipe loosened a _little_ bit more.

"Wha- *gasp* what do you need them *gasp* for?" She managed to say. Katarina's eyes flashed. "Don't question me. Now, WHERE ARE THEY?!" She whipped out a dagger and pressed to to the hollow of her victims throat.

"I- *gasp* b-bottom left d-drawer!"

The Noxian smiled and let Caitlyn go. "See, telling me wasn't so hard, now, was it?"

The victim rubbed her throat while she watched the redhead go over to the drawer and retrieve a pair of fuzzy handcuffs. She paled, realizing that she'd given the wrong pair to the Noxian…

"My my, Caitlyn. You've been a naughty girl lately, haven't you?" Katarina drawled, picking up the handcuffs and clipping them onto her belt. She strutted over to Caitlyn's bathroom and admired herself in the mirror. "Mm, I'm a _sexy_ officer!" The Sinister Blade laughed in a poor imitation of Caitlyn's accent, walked out of the bathroom, past a confused Piltovian, and back out the door, shutting it behind herself.

'_... Ok then…' _The Sheriff of Piltover thought. '_But what is she going to do with that…?!'_

**Katarina's room…**

"Akaaaali~" Katarina purred, closing her door behind her and slinking closer to her prey.

The Fist of Shadows eyes widened when she saw the handcuffs and she struggled against her rope binds, moving the chair a couple of inches forward. "Mmmm! Mmm!"

The Sinister Blade chuckled. "I told you, struggling will only make it wor-"

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!_

Katarina and Akali both turned their heads to the door, one angrily, one hopefully.

"What?!" The Noxian screeched, stalking over to the door and slamming it open. "Caitlyn, I'll give the cuffs- what the fuck!"

There was nobody there.

Katarina was not amused. "Teemo, you little runt. Show yourself!"

"..."

"You asked for it, Satan!"

Her leg struck out in a sweeping kick, but hit nothing. The Sinister Blade hissed and turned back to Akali, only to find the Kinkou ninja being freed from her bindings by a floating dagger. They met eyes.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"... WHAT THE FUCK?!" Katarina unfroze and launched a couple of daggers towards the floating one. It danced out of the way, aa Akali's ropes fell off. The ninja was scared now, of the angry Noxian, and of the strange apparition that had saved her.

The air shimmered, and a few seconds later, a certain light mage came into sight, the dagger still in her hand. Katarina's eyes locked onto her. "Blondie!" She hissed, and Lux gulped. '_Shit, my spell wore off! I'm sooo screwed!'_

Or not.

Akali grabbed her hand. "Hold on!"

Traveling through the shadows, the duo ended up in the North Wing hallway.

The redhead whipped out her door and ran towards them, screaming, "GIVE ME MY AKALI BACK!"

Shivering, Akali yanked on Lux's arm. "RUN, BLONDIE!"

Half running, half shadow-dancing, the Fist of Shadow and Lady of Luminosity ran out of the Institute, a teleporting Noxian assassin hot on their heels.

"W-where are we going?" Akali panted. An idea crept into Lux's mind. "Follow me!"

Thank god the restaurant wasn't far.

The original plan shuffled through the light mage's thoughts. How she was supposed to free Akali, turn her invisible, and leave a note for Katarina.

**[The note]**

_Dear Ms Du Couteau,_

_If you want Akali back, come to the restaurant next to Singed's bar. _

_Sincerely, Darius._

**[Back to the story]**

Yup. Blame it on Darius.

The doors to the restaurant slammed open, and Lux shoved Akali into Leona.

The room was in utter chaos.

Plates lay shattered on the ground. Tables were upturned. And there was a stray piece of toilet paper stuck to Riven's forehead; speaking of which, the still unconscious Exile was now hidden behind a makeshift fort of tables along with Leona, Irelia, and Ashe. Meanwhile, the 5 men were still fighting.

"We haven't much time, we-"

The doors flew off their hinges and Katarina, eyes burning with green venom, stalked into the room. She took in the brawling men and the huddled women, before picking up Lux by the throat and pinning her against the wall. The mage choked and struggled for air while her friends stood numbly by, unable to help as Katarina had a sharp knife by Lux's throat.

"The next one of you," Katarina hissed, knife digging into the Demacian's windpipe. "To interrupt my Akali time, is going to _wish_ that I'd kill you."

Garen felt his heart shatter, while Irelia raised an eyebrow. "_You_ two are a… _thing_?" She gaped, eyeing the handcuffs which were still attached to the Sinister Blade's belt. Akali shook her head vehemently. "No! Of course not! I-"

Leona gasped. "Don't lie to us, Akali! Are you dating Kat-"

"SHUT UP!" Katarina screamed, a dagger flying inches away from Leona's face. "And can someone tell me what the _fuck _happened to this restaurant?" She chucked Lux towards the girls, and they all went to catch her. In the 5 seconds it took to right Lux, Akali was back in Katarina's grasp.

Xin Zhao cleared his throat. "Draven attacked my friend Riley."

Katarina facepalmed. "Disgraceful!" She hissed, turning to the brothers. "Darius, I thought I told you to keep your brother in line!"

The Hand of Noxus huffed. "Well _you_ try doing it!"

A dagger sailed into the wall next to him, and Darius flinched.

"And on top of failing your _ONLY JOB, _you can't even defeat 3 Demacians!"

"Hey!" Jarvan complained, but everyone ignored him.

"Idiots!" Katarina seethed. "Now, get OUT of my sight. You have 5 seconds."

"Wha-? But… But…" Draven protested.

"5."

"Hey! You can't boss us ar-" Darius complained.

"4."

Katarina unsheathed her sabers and glared at Darius.

"3."

"Swain will-"

"2."

"I think we should get out of here." Draven whispered to his brother. "My awesomeness is at risk here!"

"1."

The Noxian brothers raced out of the restaurant, a dagger sticking into the door after them.

Xin Zhao raised an eyebrow at the authority that the assassin had over the _Hand of Noxus._ But he wasn't going to question it. Much.

Meanwhile, Garen was still standing in the same position he'd been in when Katarina had threatened to kill his sister. '_She… She… And Akali… She… But…'_

The assassin blew a stray strand of red hair out of her face. "If you'll excuse me, I will be leaving now." A sinister smile lit on her face as she dragged Akali out of the restaurant.

The Fist of Shadow's brown eyes begged for her friends to help her, but before they could make a move, she'd been teleported away.

"... Holy shit, I didn't know that they were dating…" Ashe muttered, eyes bugging out.

"Unnghh…" Riven moaned, startling everyone out of their silent reveries.

Irelia raised an eyebrow at her/him. "Riley, you look different…"

Lux and Ashe exchanged looks while Leona looked amused. "How did you get her to agree?" She asked, and Ashe paled. "You know?"

"... It's kind of obvious, since Draven was trying to kill her."

Irelia looked confused. "Hold on, what are you talking about? And why are you referring to Riley as a _she_?"

Lux coughed as she felt the magic from the illusion spell on Riven wear off. "Look for yourself, Irelia."

Slightly scared, the Will of Blades slowly lowered her gaze to her dates.

"R-R-RIVEN?" The Ionian gasped.

"Hmm?" Riven groaned and slowly opened her amber eyes and got up, rubbing her head. "Yeah, Irelia?"

And then she realized that Irelia had called her by her actual name.

"Oh… Well this is awkward." She mumbled, blushing red.

Memories flooded both their minds.

Of last Snowdown.

Of a bet.

Of a dark night.

Of a closet.

Of being caught by Leona.

"It is indeed…" Irelia mumbled back, glancing at the grinning Solari. "It is indeed."

_**A/N: **__**SLIGHTLY IMPORTANT INFORMATION AHEAD!**_

**o_O so what exactly happened last Snowdown? Do you sense a prequel? -.o**

**Anyways...**

**OMFG OMFG I FINISHED THE CHAPTER YESSS! That was a LOT more difficult than I'd originally anticipated. **

**CAMEO: Xin Zhao, requested by none other than miss KanadeSong! Hope you enjoyed it! **

**If you haven't already, go check out my profile! I have a list of *possible* stories up, so if you like the idea, just PM me! If I get enough PM's, I may post it! **

**Ermm… So I think most of you have noticed that my super-quick update speed has slowed down by like 3-5 days. I'm sorry, but i'm doing my best! The ideas are just running out, and i'm kinda maybe starting to lose interest in this story… **

**Anyways, thanks for the reviews, follows, and favs! Cya next chapter~**

**XOXO~Creator0fWords**

**RAGE CORNER: DID ANYONE ELSE SEE THAT NEW KATARINA SPLASH ART!? NO RIOT! NO! DON'T MAKE IT HAPPEN! ** #kat1


	12. Chapter 12: Memories and Missions

**Chapter 12: Memories And Missions**

After Ashe awkwardly suggested that everyone head back to the Institute, the champions left the destroyed restaurant a large sum of money and an apology note.

"Well, that was certainly an evening to remember…" Irelia said to Riven as they walked to the Institute. "Although I'm still extremely confused about you being a guy…"

"Don't be!" Lux piped up. "Ashe, tell them the story!"

**Later that night…**

Riven tossed and turned in her bed, trying to get some sleep. Which was already impossible at that point, but then…

"OW!"

Someone disturbed her restless state even more.

The Exile bolted upright, leapt out of bed, and grabbed her sword. "WHO'S THERE?!" She shouted. Her eyes roved the room, taking in details in the dim light.

It was 6am (or so her digital clock said); her clothes were on the back of her chair–she was wearing clothes, don't worry. The window was open- wait what?

She was sure that she'd closed it the night before.

Lying in a heap underneath the windowsill was…

"_IRELIA?!_"

The Will of the Blades slowly sat up, rubbing her head. "... Hi!"

The two stared each other down, suddenly remembering being in a similar situation.

Dark night.

Dark room.

Snowdown.

***DRAMATIC FLASHBACK TO LAST SNOWDOWN***

"Caitlyn, truth or dare?" Vi asked, wiggling her eyebrows. The Sheriff shrugged. "Truth?"

"If you had to kiss someone in this circle right now, who would it be?"

O_O

Caitlyn looked around the all-girls circle: Ahri, Vi, Irelia, Leona, Sona, and Sarah Fortune.

"P-Pass…" The Piltovian stammered, picking up a cup and chugging the contents. Vi shook her head disapprovingly. "You got no guts, Cupcake."

"*hiccup* I'm not answering that question!" Caitlyn exclaimed. "A-Ahri, truth or dare?"

The fox smiled and stroked one of her nine tails. "Truth~" She purred.

"I truth you to-"

"That's grammatically incorrect." Irelia sniffed. Caitlyn glared at her and kept going.

"If you had to make out with someone in this room, who would it be?"

Vi scoffed. "Stealing off of my questions, Cupcake."

Ahri ignored her and appraised everyone in the room with her golden eyes, giggling. "Sona."

"..."

"Cat got your tongue?" Ahri teased the mute, who was as red as Sarah's hair.

"*cough* ok, Ahri, your turn…" Sarah interrupted their silent staredown. The nine-tailed fox flipped her hair over her shoulder and stretched out on the floor. She lifted her feet and playfully kicked them in the air. "Hmm… Irelia~" Her golden eyes locked onto the Ionian, who shifted nervously under her stare. "Truth… Or _dare~?"_

"Dare, then." She did not want to answer a make-out question. What came next was even worse.

"I dare you to kiss someone, but they have to be willing as well. But at the same time unknowing of the dare." Ahri said, breaking out into laughter.

_*DOING*_ the make out part.

"PASS!" Irelia immediately grabbed a cup and downed the drink. Leona sighed. "This is no fun; you guys always chicken out."

"Yeah!" Vi agreed, glaring at Caitlyn.

Ahri shrugged. "Meh."

Sarah huffed. "Your dares are too extreme."

The fox had dared her to ask Draven out on a date.

*Sarah shivered at the thought*

Sona said nothing.

"Shit!" Irelia exclaimed as she accidentally knocked over a cup, the contents sloshing all over Leona. The Solari didn't look mad. Instead, she looked… Excited?

Everyone knew the rules.

The Will of the Blades sighed. "So what's the bet?"

When someone spilt a drink on someone else, the two must have a bet (This was later changed to a truth, after this Snowdown).

The Radiant Dawn was feeling quite evil. Ahri's original dare for Irelia in mind, she spoke.  
>"I bet that you can't get someone to willingly kiss you if they don't know about the bet."<p>

Irelia's jaw dropped. "That's not fair!"

"Rules are rules." Caitlyn sighed, feeling sympathetic towards the other woman.

"UGH!" Irelia complained.

Leona smirked. "Loser has to eat one of Teemo's mushrooms."

'_Now there's no way that I'm going to lose this…'_ Irelia decided. Being poisoned was not on her bucket list.

She sighed. "Fine."

***END FLASHBACK***

"So what are you doing here?" Riven wondered as Irelia mentally recalled her bet. The Ionian blinked.

"I… I wanted to talk." She said softly, standing up. "I couldn't sleep, and I guess you couldn't either."

Riven laughed, discarding her sword. "Sneaking in through my window probably wasn't the best choice, but at least you didn't fall and hurt yourself."

"You live on the first floor, Riven…"

"Riiiiight."

Irelia walked towards Riven. "Do you still remember last Snowdown?"

The Exile laughed. "Yup…"

***EPIC FLASHBACK***

"Draaaaaven has such adoring- hey, wait, where are you all going?" The Noxian was confused as to why everybody ran down the nearest hallway when he walked… No, correction, sauntered… No, _strutted,_ into the room. Yeah, strutted.

"Quick! HIDE!" Jayce exclaimed, pulling Caitlyn and Vi into the closest room. Ezreal leapt through the door next to theirs with Ahri, and Irelia shoved Riven into a closet before heading in with her.

The door shut, leaving the two in darkness.

**5 minutes later…**

"Ok, I think the coast is clear!" Riven breathed, stumbling towards the door in the near darkness. She reached for the doorknob and turned it.

Nothing.

She jiggled it. "The doorknobs jammed!"

Irelia swore. "Let me see!"

The Ionian tried to open it with similar results. "Shit!"

"Let's just bang on the door until someone hears us." Riven suggested. She raised her fist to knock on the door, but Irelia stopped her. "NO!"

The Exile was confused. "Do you _want_ to be stuck in here for who knows how long?!"

"Do you want to _die_ when the door opens?!"

"... What?"

The question seemed totally out of context to Riven.

"Riven, you do realize that we are next door to Sejuani right now, right?"

"So?"

"Sejuani. Is. SLEEPING. If we wake her up…" Irelia didn't need to finish her sentence.

"Oh. Well… shit."

**10 minutes later…**

"Hey, I think I found something!" Irelia exclaimed. A second later, the lights flared to life. Riven hissed at the sudden brightness and ducked her head into a bucket.

***END FLASHBACK (Due to things happening in the present)***

_KNOCK! KNOCK!_

Irelia and Riven started out of their shared reverie and glanced at the door. Then at each other. And then at the door again.

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!_

Riven snapped to her senses. "IRELIA! HIDE!" She hissed, and the Ionian immediately dove into the open closet, hiding herself behind jackets, dresses (*gasp of shock*), and scraps of armour.

Riven opened the door to see an impatient Leona.  
>"Hi, Leona. Can I help you?"<p>

The Solari crossed her arms and sighed. "Have you seen Irelia?"

The Exile panicked, feeling a sense of déja vu. "NOPE! NEVEREVENHEARDOFHER, WHAT'SANIRELIAIHAVENEVERMETANIRELIAINMYWHOLELIFE. NOPE. NUH UH."

Leona looked at her strangely. "Are you ok, Riven?"

"JUST DANDY!"

"... 'Kay then… Bye!" Leona hurried away from her friend.

**Meanwhile…**

"Ok, ladies!" Ashe cracked her knuckles. "Even though we are few in number, we can do this! Anyone got ideas?"  
>"... Ideas for Operation Rescue Akali Privately by Eloping or for more people?" Lux asked.<p>

"BOTH!" Ashe exclaimed, bringing out her whiteboard and writing '_Operation Rescue Akali Privately by Eloping'_ on it.

Caitlyn cleared her throat. "ELOPING?"

"Uh, yeah. Why?" Lux asked.

"You do know what that means, right?"  
>"Ezreal said that it meant kicking ass in the name of DEMACIA!" Lux chirped.<p>

Caitlyn facepalmed. Ashe ignored her.

"Great! Operation R.A.P.E is underway!"

**Meanwhile, in the West Wing…**

_KNOCK! KNOCK!_

"What is it?!" An angry voice yelled from within his room. The door flew open.

"Hey, Ezrea- Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" Leona stared at his scrawny figure and raised an eyebrow. Ezreal flushed red and slammed the door. He opened it a few seconds later, once he'd put something on.

"Hey, Ezrea- Why are you wearing a bra?" Leona stared at his bust-less chest, where a lacy white bra hung. He shrugged. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"... Aren't they for girls?"

Ezreal flexed his arm. "Sexism."

"... 'Kay then, bye!"

Leona ran out the hallway, only to bump into Yasuo. And knocked him over.

"Oomph! Oh, sorry Yasuo!" She helped the swordsman to his feet.

"It is ok, Leona. May I ask why you were in such a hurry?" Yasuo wondered. Leona coughed. "Ezreal… Was wearing a bra…"

His eyes widened. "Did you take a picture?!"

"... No, why?"

Yasuo whipped out his smartphone. "INSTACHAT IT!"

**A couple minutes later…**

_KNOCK! KNOCK!_

"What is it?!" Ezreal called again, yanking the door open.

"Got it!" Yasuo whispered excitedly to Leona, both sitting on the ceiling rafters (courtesy of a couple of wind techniques).

"Humph." The Prodigal Explorer shut his door and went back to… whatever he was doing.

**Back to Riven's room…**

"Ok, Irelia! I think the coast is clear…" Riven said, opening the closet door. Irelia looked up from a piece of Riven's undergarments.

"You know, I think that black suits you better." The Ionian said, putting the panties back into the drawer and walking out of the closet. Riven reddened.

Irelia continued on, oblivious to the Exile's discomfort. "You know, that kind of reminded me of when Leona walked in on us…"

***EPIC/DRAMATIC/ANOTHER FLASHBACK #3!* **

An hour had passed, and still no one came to their rescue. Both had left their phones to charge in their rooms. The closet was cramped, small, and starting to get _very_ warm.

"Ugh. It's like a sauna in here." Irelia complained. Riven nodded. "Feels like when we went to Ionia to-" She cut herself off, remembering that Irelia was Ionian… And part of the war.

The Will of the Blades grimaced. "Yeah…" She whispered.

**5 minutes later…**

"I'M SORRY!" Riven sobbed, burying her face into Irelia's shoulder. Tears streamed down the Ionian's face as well.

"I-I told you, it's not your fault!" She wailed, hugging the ex-Noxian closer. "You have proven that you want nothing to do with Noxus!"

"But you're wrong!" Riven cried. "I want to rebuild Noxus, not disconnect from it!"

"SAME DIFFERENCE!" Irelia weeped.

They pulled back, staring into each others eyes, amber to green.

"You Ionians are so… Understanding." Riven sniffed. "If you were a Noxian, I'd be lying in a pool of my blood with the word _WEAKLING _scrawled on my forehead."

"That's… Harsh." The Will of the Blades responded, not quite sure what to say. Tears drying on their faces, they slowly leaned closer to each other. The Exile closed her eyes as their lips touched, caught in the moment. And then…

"HOLY SHIT WHAT?!"

Leona was standing in the doorway.

Flustered, the two women jumped back from each other, Irelia slipping on a mop and falling with a loud _CLANG!_ onto the bucket (you know, the one that Garen got his head stuck in). Riven leapt right into the wall and fell into a heap on the ground.

The Radiant Dawn wolf-whistled. "Classy."

***END THIRD FLASHBACK***

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!" Irelia cried, ducking her face into the Exiles shoulder, which were shaking with sobs. "So many lives! So many!" She wept.

"On your side or mine?" Irelia managed to say.

"SAME DIFFERENCE!" Riven wailed, pulling Irelia closer to her.

(Yep. Déja vu. All that's left is…)

_KNOCK KNOCK!_

(Ok, I was waiting for the part right before that but FINE! I guess that works too!)

"RIIIIIVEN!" Ashe called. "OPEN THE DOOOOOOOOR!"

Riven groaned. "Not again!" She complained, releasing Irelia. "Hide, I don't think we need people questioning why we were in here together… Crying."

"'Kay." Irelia replied, wiping her tears off and going to the closet to flip through Riven's clothes again. Such fun!

The Exile made herself look presentable and opened her door to see Ashe, Lux, and Caitlyn standing there, looking expectantly at her.

"*sniff* what?"

"Riven, we need you to join us on Operation R.A.P.E!" Lux provided, bouncing up and down with excitement. Caitlyn rolled her eyes.

"... Operation _Rape?!_" Riven gaped, not wanting to join in on the Frost Archer, Lady of Luminosity, and Sheriff of Piltover's crazy schemes if it involved raping people. Speaking of which…

"Sheriff, how can you be a part of this?!" The astonished Exile asked. Caitlyn sighed. "R.A.P.E stands for-"  
>Ashe cut her off. "Resue Akali Privately by Eloping!"<p>

"Uh, you do know what eloping means, right?" Riven raised an eyebrow.

"THAT'S WHAT I SAID!" The Sheriff threw her hands up.

**North Wing- Operation: R.A.P.E**

"Alright guys, you know the drill." Ashe said, slinging her bow onto her shoulder. Lux, Riven, and Caitlyn nodded.

"On three?" The Frost Archer checked. Everyone nodded.

"THREE!"

After a brief delay, they charged towards the door and bowled it down, falling in a big pile on top of it.

"Unnghh… I think we could've thought that out better." Caitlyn groaned, feeling the weight of Riven's armour on her.

At least she was lighter than Kayle.

Lux leapt to her feet. "SURRENDER AKALI TO US OR IN THE NAME OF DEMACIA, I WILL PUNISH YOU!" She screeched, brandishing her baton at…

Nothing.

"Something tells me that this isn't Katarina's room…" Ashe said, looking around. "Not unless she has a thing for birdcages, which I don't think she does."

There were at least ten iron birdcages strewn around the room; hanging from ceilings, above the bed, by the bathroom, you get the idea.

"Hey, what's that?" Lux wondered, walking over to a giant portrait.

"Uh… A mutant bird-thing?" Riven suggested.

"Looks like Beatrice." Caitlyn said.

They came to the same realization at the same time.

This was Jericho Swain's room.

The reaction was as if they had just realized that they were in a radioactive barn.

"Don't. Touch. Anything." Ashe breathed, slowly inching backwards towards the door.

Caitlyn and Riven followed suit, while Lux examined something on Swain's bookshelf.

The light mage reached a hand out and Ashe nearly had a heart attack. "LUX! DON'T TOUCH IT!"

Too late.

The Lady of Luminosity had pulled out the copy of _The Demacian Diaries_.

Said bookshelf spun around, revealing a bunch of monitors.

"What the hell?" Riven whispered, walking over towards it.

"This is creepy…" Caitlyn said, realizing that the monitors all showed real-time footage from all the Noxian champions rooms. Each monitor had a label on it to differentiate.

"Hand of Noxus." Ashe read aloud. "Probably Darius. Snake… Probably Cassiopeia. Annoying bighead… Draven?"

"Or Katarina!" Lux offered. Caitlyn shook her head.

"I really don't think that the Sinister Blade would have pictures of Draven in her room…"

"That's true." Lux conceded. "And this one's probably Katarina's." She pointed at a screen on the bottom right.

The label read, in capital letters, ANNOYING REDHEAD.

They all turned their eyes to it, and to the scene playing out before them.

Caitlyn widened her eyes.

Lux gasped.

Ashe choked.

Riven fainted.

"What. The. Actual. FUCK?!" Caitlyn yelled.

**Meanwhile, in the library…**

Shen felt a disturbance in the balance of the universe.

But his magazine was more important.

Flipping a page, the ninja felt a buzzing in his pocket. He pulled his phone out to see that he had a text message from Leona.

Sunknyght13: SHEN YOU GOTTA SEE THIS XD

'_One photo attached'_

Ninjaboi7: What is it?

Sunknyght13: Didya look at it yet?

Ninjaboi7: No, i don't trust you. Now what is it?!

Sunknyght13: Ezreal wearing a bra.

NinjaBoi7: WTH? O-O

Shen clicked on the image and dropped the phone laughing.

**The mess hall…**

"Morning, Ezreal." Irelia yawned, grabbing a plate. The Explorer nodded to her and continued attacking his eggs.

The Will of the Blades sat down at a table by the window, eating and thinking.

There was a lot to think about.

_THUD!_

"Heyyy Irelia!" Kennen said, sitting down across from his fellow Ionian. "What's up?"

Irelia snapped her head up. "Wha- oh, nothing much."

He raised an eyebrow. "Is everything ok?"

"Yeeaaah…!"

More than a little suspicious, Kennen left to find Shen and Akali after saying "Cya later then!"

**The North Wing- Operation: R.A.P.E**

Caitlyn, Lux, and Ashe watched Katarina and Akali watch tv.

Or, more accurately, watch _Draven._ Which was why Riven fainted.

The two appeared to be watching some sort of torture network, as their screen was taken up by scenes of Draven admiring himself in the mirror, flexing his muscles, yelling, "DRAVEN IS NUMBER 1!" and trying to dance seductively.

What made it even more horrifying was that they were _laughing._

"She… She's been brainwashed!" Ashe whispered.

"Now we _have_ to save her!" Lux whispered back.

"Why are we whispering?" Caitlyn whispered.

**The North Wing- Katarina's room**

Akali turned to look at Katarina, and found her laughing at something on her phone. She was laughing so hard that she actually dropped it onto the ground, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Are you ok, Kat?" Akali wondered, scooting further away from her 'captor' on the couch.

"BAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, I-I'm fine- AHAHA!" The assassin managed to say before erupting back into laughter. Curious, Akali picked up the fallen phone.

The ninja fared no better than the assassin, immediately erupting into laughter.

"E-Ezreal! In a BRA!" She choked out. Katarina hugged her stomach. "He looks so stupid!"

"YES!" Akali agreed. Finally, after a minute or two, they composed themselves.

Katarina took her phone back. "Screenshotting."

"You better!"

The Sinister Blade took a screenshot and then eyed the tv again. "Eww, Draven. Must've accidentally sat on the remote or something."

Akali took one look at the tv and started gagging. Katarina eyed her. "I should've used this to torture you from the beginning." She lamented. The Fist of Shadow sat up, eyes wide. "NO! PLEASE NO!" She begged. The Noxian laughed and shook her head. "Ok, fine."

Akali relaxed and curled up next to Katarina. "I wouldn't mind the fuzzy cuffs though." She giggled.

Suddenly, the door burst down.

"SURRENDER AKALI TO US OR IN THE NAME OF DEMACIA I WILL PUNISH YOU!"

Ashe groaned. "We should have thought it out better this time too." The Avarosan was stuck underneath Riven and Caitlyn.

Katarina hissed and jumped up. "I hope that I won't have to hurt you. Violence before lunch is bad karma." The Noxian narrowed her eyes at them, knives already in hand, playful demeanor gone.

Caitlyn gulped. "Maybe we should-"  
>"NO!" Lux cried, brandishing her baton. A red laser appeared. "DEMACI- OW!"<p>

The laser disappeared. Lux's baton went flying across the room, along with a small knife.

"Whoa, guys!" Akali cried, appearing in front of her friends. "No need to fight!"

Ashe glared at Katarina, who had teleported to a corner of the room, another knife in her hand already. "Of course we don't need to fight. If she gives you to us, we will go in peace.

Katarina shrugged. "Ok then. Take her."

"I didn't think s- wait what?" Ashe's blue eyes widened.

"I said, take her." The Sinister Blade repeated. "Are you deaf?"

"N-n-no, but-"  
>"Ok then, thank you let's go!" Caitlyn interrupted, grabbing Akali by the arm and dragging her out.<p>

**Operation: R.A.P.E**

**Operatives: **

**The Frost Archer**

**The Lady of Luminosity**

**The Sheriff of Piltover**

**The Exile**

**Status: Complete, successful**

"I feel like that was too easy…" Lux said, once they'd exited the North Wing. Caitlyn and Ashe agreed. "Something seems off. Akali, shouldn't you be more happy?" Caitlyn asked the Fist of Shadow, who shrugged.

"Sure."

"What exactly happened there?" Ashe wondered. "When we got there, you weren't bound or anything. In fact…"

She told Akali what they'd seen on Swain's monitor.

The Ionian shrugged again. "She… Well, I guess I was scared and stuff at first. But after a while, we started talking and… Realized that we had a lot in common. Kind of bonded, I guess. Katarina is really different in private, you know."  
>"..."<p>

"See, I told you. Brainwashed." Ashe whispered to Caitlyn.

"Where's Riven?" Caitlyn whispered back.

They froze.

"Oops." Ashe said.

**A/N: ****IMPORTANT!**

**Wrote that in pretty much one sitting (2 hours). Brain. Hurts. Agaagawaadawa!**

**Cameo's: Jayce, Vi, Miss Fortune, Sona, and whoever else showed up.**

**Ahri requested by ****ahriiiiiiii! **

**Ahh so guys, I was thinking on whether or not I should get a Beta Reader. Should I? And if any of you are interested, just PM me :)**

**If people seem a bit OOC this chapter, sowwy! And if you're confused about the Akali and Katarina thing, let's just say that they are on friendly acquaintances now. Yeah.**

**Cya next time!**

**XOXO~ Creator0fWords **


	13. Chapter 13: Piltovians and Destruction

**Chapter 13: Piltovians snd Destruction (Part 1)**

_CRASH! BAM!_

Ashe looked up from her dinner. "What was that?" She asked her friends.

_BEEB BEEB!_

Caitlyn took out her comms unit. "Officer?"

There was a lot of incoherent shouting on the other end. The Sheriff frowned. "Slow down!"

More incoherent noises, and then, "JINX AND VI! HEADING FOR THE INSTITU-"

_SMASH! CRASH!_

"HA! You missed, Fat Hands!"

_BOOM! BANG!_

"GET BACK HERE YOU FUCKING RUNT!"

Caitlyn sighed. "Thanks for the warning, but they're already here." She put the device back into her pocket and stood up. "I'll handle this."

Lux stood up as well. "No way. I'm helping you."

Ashe shrugged. "Jinx and Vi can be quite a handful. I'm coming too."

Riven continued eating, pretending not to hear.

**The lower levels**

"They were definitely here." Ashe remarked as they descended the steps into the lower levels.

"Really? What gave it away?" Caitlyn asked sarcastically. The walls were bashed in, there were scorch marks everywhere, and several lamps were broken.

There was more yelling coming from up ahead, around the corner. "HAHA! TOO SLOW, FAT HANDS!"

More crashing noises ensued.

The Sheriff of Piltover sighed. "Sometimes, I really hate my job." She readied her beloved sniper rifle and leapt around the corner, firing twice in rapid succession.

Instead of bullets, 90 caliber nets shot out, pinning Jinx and Vi respectively against the walls. Different walls.

The Piltover Enforcer struggled futilely. "Cupcake! Let me go! I need to bash her fucking face in!" She complained, her huge gauntlets making movement even more difficult in her restricted space. Jinx kept laughing. Just. Kept. Laughing.

Caitlyn blew a stray strand of hair out of her face. "No, I will not let you out, Vi. We do not need more charges of property damage and assault on your file! Look at what you've done! And Jinx, stop laughing!"

Indeed, the Loose Cannon's laughter was really annoying. The kind of laugh you'd hear from a psychopath whilst she boiled live puppies.

"I can help with that." Ashe offered, firing a crystallized arrow at Jinx. Exploding upon impact, it froze her and rained ice particles over everyone.

Lux swatted them away from her face. "Ahh! Hail!"

**Meanwhile…**

Kennen and Shen were sitting in Shen's room, discussing important things.

"No, Ahri for sure." Kennen was saying. Shen shook his head. "Miss Fortune! I mean, look at them!" He exclaimed, bringing up (the base splash art photo) a picture of the markswoman on his smartphone. The Heart of the Tempest snorted. "Photoshop."

"I don't think so, to be honest…"  
>"Fine, what about Sona?"<p>

Shen got a faraway look in his eyes. "Mmmm… No, I still think Miss Fortune has bigger boobs."

"What's this I hear about boobs?" Someone said, and immediately the two ninja's whipped around.

"A-Akali!" Kennen stammered. "So good to see you, sister!"

The Fist of Shadow was not amused. "I asked Irelia where you two were. She told me to not disturb you because you were doing _important_ things."

Shen's face reddened. "I-I- we… How did you even get in my room?!"

"DO NOT CHANGE THE SUBJECT ON ME!"

**The mess hall…**

"Hi, Riven." Irelia said softly, startling the Exile.

"I-Irelia!" Riven turned to the Will of the Blades. "You scared me!"

The Ionian chuckled. "Did I?" She asked innocently.

Riven glared at her. "Can I help you?"

"Right! Come with me."

**The lower levels**

"... And then you ignore my orders! I expected better from you, Vi!" Caitlyn finally finished, after a long (10 minutes, to be exact) lecture to her Enforcer.

Lux had fallen asleep, and Ashe was playing a game of 'Would you Rather?' with Jinx.

"Would you rather… Sleep with Vi, or go on a date with Draven?" Ashe asked. Jinx laughed again.

"The first one! Draven is such a booooore."

"Hahaha! I know right?"

Caitlyn looked over at them. "Ashe, what should we do with these two?"

"Hmm?" The Frost Archer looked over at the Sheriff. "Oh, right. Umm… Let them go? We _are_ on League grounds right now."

"Right you are." Caitlyn replied.

**Later that night, in the North Wing…**

"Why her?!" Leona complained to Irelia.

"Because you lost the bet."

"I SERIOUSLY DID NOT THINK THAT YOU WOULD GET A DATE!"

"That doesn't matter. You lost. Now… FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!"

The Radiant Dawn groaned and turned to the door. Lifting her hand, she rapped twice on it and awaited her imminent doom.

She waited. No one answered.

She waited some more. Still, no one answered.

Riven coughed. "What am I here for, exactly?"

Irelia smiled. "Just wait.

Another 30 seconds passed, and Leona turned to Irelia, a hopeful smile on her face. "She's not here. Can I go now?"

The door opened.

Eyes wide, the Solari turned to face Katarina.

"What do you people want?!" She snarled, reaching for a knife.

"I- Willyougooutwithme?!" Leona choked out.

"..."

"..."

"... Are you fucking kidding me?" Katarina asked softly, anger gone, replaced by disbelief and concern. Yes, concern.

Leona gulped. "I-..."

"It doesn't matter. I'm…" The Noxian glanced back into her room. "... Not single." She whispered.

O_O

**The next day…**

Ezreal put two pop tarts into his toaster and then went to sit on his couch, smiling contentedly as he prepared to check his phone.

**3 minutes later…**

Ezreal was not happy. When he opened his phone, the first thing he saw was that he had over 100 text messages.

Then, when he logged onto Instachat, the first image on Most popular was a picture of him.

Wearing a bra.

The Prodigal Explorer growled. "When I find out who's responsible…" He trailed off once he smelled something burning.

"Shit! My pop tarts!" He exclaimed, jumping up to go save his breakfast.

**A/N: Short chapter, I know. But I don't have much time. I'm leaving for vacation today, and I wanted to get something out before I left. I won't be uploading for about a week, so bye! Hope it doesn't suck! (whipped it up in an hour . )**

**XOXO~ Creator0fWords**


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